Nice guys finish first. If you don't know that, then you don't know where the finish line is. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
Without comedy as a defense mechanism I wouldn't be able to survive. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
When I'm not in a relationship, I shave one leg. That way, when I sleep, it feels like I'm with a woman. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
My dog watches me on TV. So, if I may take this opportunity, "No! No! No!" — Garry Shandling Dog Copy Share Image
Dr. Phil is hiding something. Otherwise, why wouldn't he use his last name? — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
They should put expiration dates on clothing so we men will know when they go out of style. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I am pretty tenacious as a perfectionist in terms of getting something right. — Garry Shandling Beauty Copy Share Image
Oysters are supposed to enhance your sexual performance, but they don't work for me. Maybe I put them on too soon. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I like to talk on the cell when I do interviews. That way, I double my chances of getting brain cancer: from… — Garry Shandling Brain Copy Share Image
Yes, I'm a nice man and I enjoy babies. I'm a sensitive guy. I held a baby the other day and it… — Garry Shandling Babies Copy Share Image
The only way I would go back to hosting would be if it were something entirely new. It would prevent me from… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
But I really like hosting, I think it's a strength of mine. It allows me to improvise, and I love the spontaneity… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I once saw an elaborate landscape in a gallery, drawn in pencil, that took my breath away. Then I realized the artist… — Garry Shandling Art Copy Share Image
I play basketball on Sundays and I'm a very spiritual guy; I read a lot of Eastern philosophy and I meditate. — Garry Shandling Basketball Copy Share Image
I don't talk about my hair anymore because I've matured. I matured and realized it doesn't matter what you look like. It's… — Garry Shandling Comedy Copy Share Image
I met a new girl at a barbecue, very pretty, a blond I think. I don't know, her hair was on fire,… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I've never had anyone put on a puppet show to convince me of anything. And I've done a lot of stuff. I… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
'The Larry Sanders Show,' it's actually about love, which would sound like a paradox at first. But if that love didn't exist,… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
Because I am afraid of commitment. This movie certainly has some bearing and is some reflection of my real feeling about relationships,… — Garry Shandling Movie Copy Share Image
I remember learning to drive on my dad's lap. Did you guys ever do that? He'd work the brakes. I'd work the… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
Here's the thing - I'm single, I haven't been married, I don't have kids yet. If I do have kids I would… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I actually think I'm more of a turtle than Verne is. Where Verne is up on two legs and moving at full… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
You know it's funny that none of the regular late-night shows now use guest hosts the way Johnny did. No one talks… — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
It's not the hair on your head that matters. It's the kind of hair you have inside. — Garry Shandling Hair Copy Share Image
I don't know how to ground myself without the other actor present. — Garry Shandling Actor Copy Share Image
I sold my house this week. I got a pretty good price for it, but it made my landlord mad as hell — Garry Shandling Good life Copy Share Image
I once made love for an hour and fifteen minutes, but it was the night the clocks are set ahead. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
In the year 2525, that song will be even less popular than when it first came out. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
I'm too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I don't know. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
First of all, I'm not the kind of guy that likes to rehash the show and so forth and so on. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
Im too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I dont know. — Garry Shandling Being single Copy Share Image
Everyone at a party is uncomfortable. Knowing that makes me more comfortable. — Garry Shandling Copy Share Image
