“I had a dream about you last night. We stopped telling each other about our dreams when we realized we were still… — Michael Summers Copy Share Image
“When you're writing a whodunit, the dead body is the most important character. It's the pivot point around which the plot spins.” — Adrianne Lee Copy Share Image
It is a curious fact that people are never so trivial as when they take themselves seriously — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Sex and murder are the same. Well, you say the same after both don't you? 'Damn I got to get the hell… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
“The English winter is long, cold and wet, just like the English summer” — Benny Bellamacina Copy Share Image
Wit and playfulness represent a desperately serious transcendence of evil. Humor is both a form of wisdom and a means of survival. — Tom Robbins Copy Share Image
“Often you don’t know whether you’re the hero of a romantic comedy or the villain on a Lifetime special until the restraining… — Tim Kreider Copy Share Image
I've met Jon Glaser who has a show on Adult Swim call Delocated and he's the main writer we hired for the… — Joe Buck Copy Share Image
Captain Hammer is obviously the most fun to write because he is not so bright. And 'not so bright' is comedy gold.… — Jed Whedon Copy Share Image
I like the more community element of comedy. And I hate people pitting other people against each other. Audiences are always judging… — Aisling Bea Copy Share Image
I think the biggest influence on the book, as far as the humor goes, comes, at least indirectly, from the men I… — Donald Ray Pollock Copy Share Image
I used to do stand-up when I was in high school. But I was also making beats for this rap group, and… — Tom Green Copy Share Image
I like it when you buy something and pay with a credit card, they put your credit card on the receipt, but… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
If I didn't have a gig, I used to ring up all the comedy clubs across the country and go, 'If anyone… — Jim Jefferies Copy Share Image
“For some reason, possibly known only to my therapist, I decided that Dippy looked so adorable this morning, as she lay gently… — Amy Petrie Shaw Copy Share Image
“An optimist is a man who plant two acorns and buy a hammock.” — Jean de Lattre de Tassigny Copy Share Image
If it doesn't work, at least it will be an interesting train wreck. — Craig Ferguson Copy Share Image
