“Ah hell, this was bad. Double-chocolate-chips-to-my-hips kinda bad.” — Priya Kanaparti Copy Share Image
“...What do you do with all your money?" "Me and the French hoard gold.” — Dashiell Hammett Copy Share Image
“Jimmy Hoffa is not dead. He works at the National Enquirer with Elvis and Bigfoot.” — M.J. McGuire Copy Share Image
I always loved comedy but I didn't start formally until I was in college. — Ana Gasteyer Copy Share Image
“Inu-Yasha: Is it my imagination, or have you been a little prickly lately? Sango: It's your imagination! GLARE KA-BOOM ROARRRR KRAKLE KRAKLE ” — Rumiko Takahashi Copy Share Image
“Persistent ill-humour is all too clear an indication that someone is living contrary to his[her] intended purpose.” — Jose Ortega y Gasset Copy Share Image
“It is quite futile to argue that man is small compared to the cosmos; for man was always small compared to the… — G.K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
“Are you seriously telling me the truth about all this?" I asked. "I seriously am," he replied. "I was also serious about… — Lindsay Ribar Copy Share Image
The average life expectancy rate in some parts of Glasgow is 54. If you've ever been there, you'll realize that that's maybe… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
“The first rule of snooping is to come at it sideways--when you began writing me dizzy letters about Alexander, I didn't ask… — Annie Barrows Copy Share Image
“Sophie and I would use her Christmas break to make homemade treats from our very own kitchen. I mean, if thousands of… — Celia Rivenbark Copy Share Image
I'm not sure. But that bless-his/her-heart kind of melancholic humor is among my favorite things in the world. I guess it exposes… — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
To act like everyone has had the same access to share their funny is willful ignorance at its best - and just… — Amanda Seales Copy Share Image
“Por supuesto, Yaya Ceravieja se las daba mucho de independiente y de bastarse a sí misma. Pero lo que pasaba con estas… — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
“Little Red Riding Hood got what she deserved. You don’t go walking in the woods alone if you want to avoid wolves.”… — Carol Goodman Copy Share Image
“My muscles informed me they did not want to go through any more exercise today. So I suggest that maybe he should… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
How does a sesame seed stick to a bun? That's magical. There must be some sesame seed glue out there. Either that… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Comedy is tragedy plus time, but the time is different for everybody. — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
![“Persistent ill-humour is all too clear an indication that someone is living contrary to his[her] intended purpose.” quote by Jose Ortega y Gasset](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/268/jose-ortega-y-gasset-1688_humor_persistent-ill-humour-is-all-too-clear-a_1194731.jpg)
