Humor Quotes · Page 119

Meaning of LOL;Before laughing Out Loud.Now:lack of Laughter

— Sniper Alpacino

I HAVE a sense of humor! I laugh at Tony Danza.

— Hank Hill

I don't need you to be funny. I don't want to be entertained.

— Jerry Seinfeld

Throughout history, great leaders have known the power of humor.

— Allen Klein

I'm quite lucky, because I've got a small, decorative concrete pig.

— Bill Bailey

“The world requires me to re-write its wretched dialogue!”

— Richard Greenberg

“My favorite quote in the world is this one.”

— Richelle E. Goodrich

I wasn't worth a cent two years ago, and now I owe two million dollars.

— Mark Twain

I always saw myself doing comedy, so when I got the job on 'All My Children' it was not my thing -…

— Chrishell Stause

If my name was Mario I'd get into as many relationships as I can just so I could break up with them…

— Anonymous

I took a speed-reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

— Woody Allen

I'm not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.

— Rodney Dangerfield

I love to bring humour into my work. Because comedy is not a huge part of the art world. And big-business film…

— James Franco

An adequate share of humor and laughter represents an essential part of the diet of the healthy person.

— Norman Cousins

“Their humor is underdog humor, a put-down of what is more powerful than they.”

— Wallace Stegner

I wasn't even a big comedy nerd. A lot of the comedians I know - a lot of my friends are comedians…

— Demetri Martin

I think humor really is the most effective way for me personally to express myself. When I see an incredible formalist painting,…

— Chloe Wise

“Venice she is like the beautiful cortigiana—the courtesan—who has”—Zeggio frowned, searching for the phrase he wanted—“dropped on the hours of trouble.” “Fallen…

— Loretta Chase

“Moths? You're afraid of MOTHS?" Will asked incredulously. "Yeah, so what? They're all papery and their wings are all gross! They're just..Uckkk!"…

— Veronica Roth

“What the hell is this stuff?" he muttered, frowning at the oily spot on the linen cloth. "Pearlman slathered it on me…

— Patricia Gaffney

Armenians and Azerbaijanis in Stepanakert, capital of the Nagorno-Karabakh autonomous region, rioted over much needed spelling reform in the Soviet Union.

— P. J. O'Rourke

“People are always doing studies. Now there's one that says drinking coffee can lead to the prevention of memory loss in old…

— Ariel Leve

I think that having comedy where people talk the way they really talk, when you talk with your friends and whatever, it's…

— Seth Gordon

“I was determined to teach him (Jeremy) a safe route if nothing else, and not to repeat his legendary North Pole experience.…

— Anonymous

“Comedy is the finest drug, laughter is the best medicine.”

— D.M. Jarrett

I want to keep all the comedy to interviews and outside-the-ring work.

— William Regal

It's rare in satirical comedy not just to be cynical.

— Josh Widdicombe

Ways to die: steal my food, touch me, look through my phone.

— Anonymous

I want to ride in a cold air balloon. "This isn't going anywhere!"

— Mitch Hedberg

Should you trust a stockbroker who's married to a travel agent?

— Steven Wright

“It takes a lot of wind to sail a leaky boat.”

— Tom Morrison

What makes God laugh is people who make plans.

— Nicolas Roeg

I've done hip-hop videos, family comedies, a quirky comedy.

— Steve Carr

Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice!

— Arjun Loveable

Funny is funny. And if it's good, it travels.

— James Corden

Humor could not flourish in a wholly serious and rational atmosphere.

— Raymond Smullyan

I think everything's funny, to be honest.

— Kelly Rohrbach

“Dont allow a worthless bitch to cause you lose an irreplaceable queen”

— Prince simus

“Iron deficiency can lead to a wardrobe full of crumpled clothes”

— Benny Bellamacina

It proved to me, though, that comedy is so much harder.

— Jenna Elfman