Humor is an excellent method of keeping a tight rein on unproductive displays of emotion. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My pillow is my best hair styler, every morning I wake up with a new hair style. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The sound of silence, when you realize that you have no kids… ha ha ha... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'The spider is more sacred of you than you're scared of it!' Oh really, did it tell you that?! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm actually not funny. I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Your taste in books says more about you than any other single object in your house. It reflects your interest, your intelligence,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Economists give their predictions to a digit after the decimal point to show that they have a sense of humor. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Women are like internet viruses they enter your life, scan your pocket, edit your mind, download their problems, delete your smile... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A great man reigns over himself with kindness and humor, and therefore never feels the pain of rejection. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A sense of humor always withers in the presence of the messianic delusion, like justice and the truth in front of patriotic… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're actually telling the truth, but you're laughing so everyone thinks you're lying. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry no one understood you were making an April Fool's joke because no one thinks you have a sense of humor. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Oh well... I'd just been thinking, if you had died, you'd have been welcome to share my toilet. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If I gained a calorie for every time I thought of food, I'd be the size of a blue whale. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Yes I am a little full of myself. Play your cards right and you can be full of me too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best curve on a girl is her smile. Nah just joking, look at that ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“What is the point of switching identities if you remain the same person you were before?” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life's like your Ex-boyfriend it has it's up it has it's down but in the end you still finish it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Parents catch you masturbating? Stare straight at em and finish like a boss! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If God had wanted people to give blow jobs, he wouldn't have given them teeth. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughing is the best medicine.But if you're laughing for no reason, you may need medicine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're like a Password. Hard to figure out, but I always want to keep trying. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today is April Fools' Day. Believe nothing and trust no one... Just like any other day. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office...I will find you. You have my Word. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In my mind, there is nothing so illiberal, and so ill-bred, as audible laughter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
