“But whatever lives or dies, business must be attended to; and the principal business of good Christians is, beyond all controversy, to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are only two emotions that belong in the saddle; one is a sense of humor and the other is patience. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Plus, humor was a good way to hide the pain. And if that didn’t work, there was always Plan B. Run away.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“All men come to resemble their fathers. That isn’t a tragedy, but you need a hell of a sense of humour to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I found the key to success¦however, I found a note from success's landlord saying that the locks have been changed. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I know every day is a gift, but where's the receipt for Mondays? I want to exchange it for another Friday. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nobody with any real sense of humor *can* write a love story. . . . Shakespeare is the exception that proves the rule. (90-91) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Seriously, I don't know when exactly that UFO landed & dumped all these stupid people, but they apparently aren't coming back for them. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not religious, but the first thing I do in the Morning is look at the clock and pray I have more… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Humor has always been important to me. If there is a shield of faith that you can keep up against difficulties, humor… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Marriages can survive without love, but they cannot survive without forgiveness, fortitude, and a good sense of humor.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Death's got an Invisibility Cloak?" Harry interrupted again. "So he can sneak up on people," said Ron. "Sometimes he gets bored of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They say it grows so cold up here in winter that a man’s laughter freezes in his throat and chokes him to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend will call you an idiot, but a best friend will not only call you one, but act like one with… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Practice easing your way along...Do your best; take it as it comes. You can handle anything if you think you can. Just… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Working hard to maintain the illusion Im Boss of the Boy & Girl. Witty people, retro style, TV, animals, trees & chocolate… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why are they all staring?" demanded Albus as he and Rose craned around to look at the other students. "Don’t let it… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“On my first day of kindergarten: "You thought it was hard? If kindergarten is busting your ass, I got some bad news… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This global recession has had a detrimental effect on my sex life. It's ages since I've been able to afford it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My parents put us to sleep by tossing us up in the air. Of course, you have to have low ceilings for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Thanks to the Interstate Highway System, it is now possible to travel from coast to coast without seeing anything ” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I like cars the way I like my men. I pick them up, grab the stick, and drive them hard down the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I die, will someone please go to my funeral dressed like the Grim Reaper? You don't say anything, just stand there... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There was cake in the fridge and a note saying do not eat me! I ate the cake and left a new… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can't say happiness without saying Ha, penis. I JUST DIED! Why do I find stupid things like this so funny??Oh Tumblr.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“He smiled. Gallows humor. “I’m on a roller coaster that only goes up,” he said. “And it is my privilege and my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I feel like L.A. is more of a showcase, and Chicago is a pure comedy scene where you're doing comedy for comedy.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is well known that humor, more than anything else in the human make-up, can afford an aloofness and an ability to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was never really comfortable doing comedy. Though it was good the first couple of years, there were problems, and it became… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Marriage is like a deck of cards. In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Our desire for immortality through our individual & collective creativity despite inevitable death is the only truly funny thing. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
R.I.P to my Ex...the funeral will be held at Never Again Baptist Church, located across from The Lies You Told Cemetery, on… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
So you're a big fan of Marilyn Monroe and you know all her quotes? Cool, how many of her movies did you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love pandas, they're so chill. They are all like 'Dude, racism is stupid. I'm White, Black, and Asian...' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For the sadness in legitimate humour consists in the fact that honestly and without deceit it reflects in a purely human way… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Corruptio optimi pessima!' Grinned Sir Henry Bessemer . 'Judicio vulgi demens!' Snorted Sir William Siemens .” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you like to make love while listening to music, always choose a live album. That way youll get an applause every… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
