I want my people to laugh like a lion's roar. Then even laughter becomes a tremendous experience, because it is intelligence at… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Proof computers are female: Even your smallest mistakes are immediately committed to memory for future reference. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I like a man who can be a real friend, has a good sense of humor, a good pair of shoes and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebearers, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some joys are better explained in silence, as a smile gets more audible than laughter. I was asked if I enjoyed my… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you can keep your head when all around you have lost theirs, then you probably haven't understood the seriousness of the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This is one of his most human and most amusing and witty novels. The characters are very Indian. I decided that I… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Call Of Duty will really have a guy thinking about joining the army...then you realize how many times you died. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Without humor, life is boring. Without love, life is hopeless. Without friends like you, life is impossible! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear parents, I am fully aware that 'money doesn't grow on trees.' Sincerely, that is why I'm asking you for it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happy Hump Day! We're half way there to drinking cocktails and making decisions we will regret on Monday! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“The human route to sympathy or empathy is a clumsy one but it's all we've got. To understand the consequences of our… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
As with most audiences when there is a live celebrity on stage, our laughter is performative, disproportionate, and noncontextual: a semaphoric ass… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only thing worse than it raining after you wash your car... Is having to poop as soon as you get out… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughter and tears are meant to turn the wheels of the same machinery of sensibility; one is wind-power, and the other water-power;… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My mission in life is not merely to survive, but to thrive; and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Sir U__ fell down from a speeding train, Which did some damage to his brain, And after that he did not know… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am interested in entertaining people, in bringing pleasure, particularly laughter, to others, rather than being concerned with 'expressing' myself with obscure… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish I knew all the answers, how to be perfect, attractive and witty. But I'm just a human being with all… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A foreigner visiting the United States thought 'oakie doakie' was the feminine of 'O.K.' Of course, he was mistaken. The feminine of… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when people see me at the supermarket and they're like hey what are you doing here? and I'm just like… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
DAUGHTER what is marriage: MOM: Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who cannot be handled by… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The attempt to develop a sense of humor and to see things in a humorous light is some kind of a trick… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To forget you is hard to do and to forget me is up to you. Forget me not, forget me never. Forget… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Laughter is like a fresh new day, each giggle is the dawn of a new morning; brighten up your day and smile… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do single girls take advice from other single girls? That's like ray charles giving stevie wonder driving directions. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The most valuable sense of humor is the kind that enables a person to see instantly what it isn't safe to laugh… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each others hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I want to show you that you can be funny and hot. You can drink and read. People are still getting used… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring. When she was in a good mood it turned blue. In… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Vanity might be a "sin" according to some lights, but he thought in measured doses it was one of life's allowable simple… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Incidentally, I don't know how late you were planning to stay, but there is an excellent film this evening The Snake Pit… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“I heard his library burned down and both books were destroyed -- and one of them hadn't even been colored in yet.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If the Mayans have taught us anything, it is that if you don't finish something, it's not the end of the world. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That akward moment when you notice someone's zipper is down, but you don't won't to say anything because you don't have a… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Three reasons you should stand up: to stretch, you need to go somewhere, or you are the real slim shady. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Admit it, the only thing that can make your lazy butt get up is when your laptop says 10% Battery Remaining. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are like puppies, adorable, then you take them home and they crap over everything you ever treasured. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear alcohol, We had a deal where you would make me funnier, smarter, and a better dancer... I saw the video... we… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
