The 'Phoenix Sun' did a list of the unsexiest men in the world, and I made it to number one. I beat out Bin Laden. He's a terrorist, hasn't bathed in months. I beat him out. To me it was… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
There are times when I've had ideas walking down the street that I thought were great, and the minute I got onstage, I would think of them and go, 'Wow, that would never work,' even before I did it in… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I can't even find someone for a platonic relationship, much less the kind where someone wants to see me naked. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
With Katrina, it's almost like the sequel that doesn't live up to the original. It's certainly a shocking event and a tragedy, but somehow… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I've never been one of those who wanted to fill my calendar up 90 percent of the time. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I always wish the hotels were like they are in movies and TV shows, where if you're in Paris, right outside your window is… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
If the police ever try to pick me up, Michael Jackson told me I can hide out at his house. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I remember being at the premiere of 'Beverly Hills Cop II' and the tremendous reaction from the crowd outside, then going to a party… — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
If someone else is paying for it, food just tastes a lot better. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
I just don't accept midgets as human beings. There's only so much political correctness I can accept. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
People have many theories about comedy, but being just plain funny is the one most important thing. — Gilbert Gottfried Copy Share Image
