Television is like a great monster, eating your gags as fast as you say them. — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
My act is very educational. I heard a man leaving the other night saying, 'Well that taught me a lesson.' — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute - I've got… — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
I haven't spoken to my mother-in-law for eighteen months-I don't like to interrupt her. — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
Honolulu, it's got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, sharks for the wife's mother. — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
If I get a hard audience they are not going to get away until they laugh. Those seven laughs a minute -- Ive got… — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
Men's legs have a terribly lonely life - standing in the dark in your trousers all day. — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
Television is like a great monster, eating your gags as fast as you say them. — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
I had an idyllic childhood and when my parents bought me a Punch and Judy Show and a ventriloquist's dummy, I'd perform anywhere, anytime.… — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
Did you know that a laugh is something that comes out of a hole in your face? Anywhere else and you're in dead trouble! — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
The trouble with Freud is that he never played the Glasgow Empire Saturday night. — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
Freud's theory was that when a joke opens a window and all those bats and bogeymen fly out, you get a marvellous feeling of… — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
Comedy should never be over-analysed. It's either funny or it isn't. There's a subtle difference between those who say funny things and those who… — Ken Dodd Copy Share Image
