When someone chucks Skittles at you and tells you to taste the freakin rainbow, take them and sling them down their throat… — Guardian Copy Share Image
That Awkward moment when you don't know what to answer when someone asks you what the date since you don't want to… — Junior Dè Rèál Testament Copy Share Image
Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign of stupidity. Repetition is a sign… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You put funny people in funny costumes and paint them green and we could talk about anything we wanted to, because that… — Majel Barrett Copy Share Image
“The toddler started making this whine/moan noise while pawing at Tabitha. I know as a woman I'm supposed to have this innate… — Cindi Madsen Copy Share Image
We have a lot of children living on our street, so I try to caution speeders by bouncing an old tricycle off… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Instead of stocks investors should invest in blankets, that way they’ll at least have something to keep them warm after they’ve lost… — Amy Riekhof Copy Share Image
When yall was comin up did your mom make you pick a stick off The bush to whoop your ass with lol… — Dionta Long Copy Share Image
What I do know about physics is that to a man standing on the shore, time passes quicker than to a man… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
It's a funny thing when you think you're dead. You're not terrified of it anymore. There's a sort of a epiphany to… — David Lange Copy Share Image
You don't truly know someone until you see how they react to their bag of chips getting stuck in a vending machine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Daniel Bryan is a friend of mine. It's sort of funny that the relationship that you saw between Team Hell No on… — Kane Copy Share Image
I'm pretty private about my neuroses. You're not neurotic if you talk to yourself - everyone does - you're only neurotic if… — Rachel Weisz Copy Share Image
I listened to this interview once with Jerry Seinfeld that really influenced my comedy and all of my writing, which is that… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Newton was sitting under an apple tree, an apple fell on his head, and he suddenly thought of the Universal Law of… — Vagabond Copy Share Image
It is not funny that anything else should fall down; only that a man should fall down... Why do we laugh? Because… — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
It's hard to make a movie that is both funny and emotional, that has something to say and is clear to the… — Christopher Miller Copy Share Image
We moved to Baltimore, Maryland, in 1979, when I was five. The funny thing is that, even though Baltimore had one of… — Philipp Meyer Copy Share Image
Lewis Carroll, you see, wasn't really interested in telling an exciting story. Well, he wasn't interested in things like cause and effect… — James Bobin Copy Share Image
I do believe that on a whole, women are definitely smarter than men... I also believe that dogs are smarter than women.… — David Cross Copy Share Image
“I guess I could go and get a bunch of knives from the Kitchen aisles and throw them at the intruders. So… — Emmy Laybourne Copy Share Image
Documentation is like sex: when it is good, it is very, very good; and when it is bad, it is better than… — Dick Brandon Copy Share Image
“Warm, aquamarine eyes stared into him—providing a lifeline to shore. And he wondered if she was really the one who needed saving… — J. Rose Black Copy Share Image
Everybody does that now. We all take pics... you do the same with holiday photos. You record something to look back on… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
The funny part about my anger is that a lot of times when it comes out a little bit and I get… — Jon Rahm Copy Share Image
'The will of the nation' is one of those expressions which have been most profusely abused by the wily and the despotic… — Alexis De Tocqueville Copy Share Image
“Charlie waves me on, then leans an elbow on his chair. Propping his head up with a finger by his temple. He's… — Krista Ritchie Copy Share Image
“The dog growled again, long and ferocious. The hair on my neck tingled. And just when I knew he would attack, a… — Carol Petrie Copy Share Image
Too much is bad...like LOVE if it is too much...it's entertaining, it's crazy. So.. Government warning: Two timer is dangerous to your… — Innah Delos Angeles Copy Share Image
Isn't it funny that God takes you and puts you through the unendurable, and then, at the moment you have just begun… — Richard Dreyfuss Copy Share Image
“One of these days I'm gonna beat him in the face with the butt of my service revolver until an eyeball pops… — John Layman Copy Share Image
“But the mass itself had been so boring that even her fantasies of rescuing Jesus and giving him a tender, thorough sponge… — Emma Törzs Copy Share Image
“She needed Andrew Simpson Smith, it was that simple. And he had spent his life training to help people like her. Gods.… — Scott Westerfeld Copy Share Image
I am happy to announce that we have reached an agreement on the question of transit between the Kaliningrad region and the… — Anders Fogh Rasmussen Copy Share Image
Nayeon always makes me laugh, and she is so funny when we are together. She is older than me, and she really… — Momo Hirai Copy Share Image
“While he sat there he decided he would buy a waterbed. He had always imagined owning a waterbed when he was successful,… — Lisa Moore Copy Share Image
“Being immortal is grand and all but I don't really remember half of what I did. The human brain was not made… — John Kennebrew Copy Share Image
Those who ran away are now outside the distant perimeter wall of the airport. Now they're outside the wall and the heroic… — Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf Copy Share Image
Gandalf! I thought you were dead! But then I thought I was dead myself. Is everything sad going to come untrue? What's… — J. R. R. Tolkien Copy Share Image
When you SEEK HAPPINESS for yourself, it will always elude you. When you seek happiness for OTHERS, you will find it yourself. — Wayne Dyer Copy Share Image
