Funny Quotes · Page 96

There is nothing small in the service of God.

— Saint Francis de Sales

I like the way you think. It's almost as if you don't.

— Anonymous

All generalizations are false, including this one.

— Anonymous

Start at B. Yes. No. Yes. No.

— Eugene Ormandy

Hurry up and learn patience.

— Wes Smith

She wavers, she hesitates: in a word, she is a woman.

— Jean Racine

Life itself is nothing but relationship.

— Adyashanti

You can put lipstick on a pig. It's still a pig.

— Barack Obama

It will work out, somehow. That's a hell of a duo right there, Marbury, Crawford and Houston.

— Carmelo Anthony

It's nice being liked for playing the nice guy, but it's also fun to be the funny one.

— Matt McGorry

You:I didn't do it Person:Then why are you laughing? You:Cause, whoever did it is a freaking genius

— Ritu Ghatourey

Credentialing, not education, has become the primary business of North American universities.

— Jane Jacobs

I'm fine with being a cat lady if dating you is the alternative.

— Anonymous

Savor what you are and not what everyone else wants you to be.

— Sandra Bullock

I worry about my nan. If she's alone and falls, does she make a noise? I'm joking, she's dead.

— Jimmy Carr

You don’t have to have a boyfriend to be happy, to be pretty, or belong.

— Louise Brealey

You could buy my book in a paperback edition for a dollar, and in hard covers for $3.50. And for fifty cents…

— Bob Hope

Happiness is a by-product of wanting something more than happiness-to be rightly related to God and our neighbor.

— Timothy Keller

Selfish men make the best lovers. They're prepared to invest in the women's pleasures so that they can collect an even bigger…

— J. G. Ballard

“Class?" I asked in surprise. "Today?" "This isn't a spa vacation, Tiger Lily. Just be glad it's History of Wormwood and not…

— Christine Manzari

Give it to me! she yelled, I'm so fucking wet,give it to me! She could scream all she wanted, I'm keeping the…

— Anonymous

I like the ironic pomposity of a stand-up comedian. Like all those comedians thinking they can bring down Coca-Cola. They forget to…

— Ricky Gervais

“Apollo stepped toward Athena. “Let’s break down this idea step-by-step. How would we be able to use Perses? The last time I…

— Jennifer L. Armentrout

It's hard to dislike a guy who's spouting off funny comments when he grabs a guy in a hold, you know? It's…

— Ethan Carter III

I've always been reasonably fatalistic.

— Nigel Mansell

Waterboarding is how we baptize terrorists.

— Anonymous

If you're not invited to the party, throw your own.

— Diahann Carroll

The truth is: you don’t have a life, you are life.

— Eckhart Tolle

You don’t choose a life, dad. You live one.

— Emilio Estevez

When I call on Jesus, all things are possible.

— Nicole C. Mullen

Thats what I crave that diversity.

— Pam Grier

At our best, we are all teachers

— Maya Angelou

The past is the past. Don't let it kill you.

— Taylor Swift

It is our business to go as we are impelled.

— D. H. Lawrence

Every step starts with a step.

— Karl Pilkington

This incompleteness is all we have.

— Charles Bukowski

Beauty cannot be recognized with a cursory glance.

— Jean Cocteau

Amitabh is very funny in his own way.

— Arshad Warsi

After all this time?" "Always...

— Anonymous

Would you be known by everybody? Then you know nobody.

— Publilius Syrus