“A shadow crossed Andrea's face. "I don't want to be his TWT-IHFB." "What does that mean?" "That Weird Thing I Haven't Fucked… — Ilona Andrews Copy Share Image
Australians are decent people with the right instincts and they wish everybody well; but if all is not well, it is none… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
When a cop says get on your knees and put ur hands in the sky, then hand cuffs u, it probably just… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Why were things funny? Was God laughing at us? Or was laughter the dispensation of God? Maybe laughter itself was Godlike. When… — Richard Tillotson Copy Share Image
You Can Waste It Or Use It For Good! What You Do Today Is Important Because You Are Exchanging A Day Of… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I thought the idea Jim [Carrey] had, which was to do a comedic version of movies like The Hand That Rocks The… — Judd Apatow Copy Share Image
“ What the hell is so funny?", He snapped. His hands now planted on his hips. Claire waved a dismissive hand, "… — Andria Large Copy Share Image
It's funny because everyone says, 'Oh you're reclusive; you don't do social media,' but it's not about being reclusive. I like direct… — Banks Copy Share Image
It is not my business to think about myself. My business is to think about God. It is for God to think… — Simone Weil Copy Share Image
I'm not going to bag on people and make funny jokes about my opponent. I just respect every opponent I go in… — Joseph Benavidez Copy Share Image
“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, you will be a mile away from him, and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ok so I have to put this out there. I'm so fucking tired of people trying to say people who are suicidal… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
JaVale McGee is one of the smartest guys I know. Like, he's a nerd, plays with gadgets, and is into technology. He's… — Andre Iguodala Copy Share Image
“I brought you a snack," Takumi said, dropping an oatmeal cream pie onto my book. "Very nutritious," I smiled. "You've got your… — John Green Copy Share Image
“ The Puffer Fish: Wherein the author flaunts his vocabulary. His father was IRA and his mother was Quebecois, and they had… — Howard Mittelmark Copy Share Image
“I'm thirty-six years old and I've been married once and he left and I don't want to feel this way anymore. Like… — Noah Hawley Copy Share Image
“Seriousness is too boring to the playful human condition. A heart of stone that has a long face can never express love.” — Michael Bassey Johnson Copy Share Image
So much of a stand-up's life is doing live radio and having to be funny and quick on the spot with these… — Aisha Tyler Copy Share Image
I was on a bus once, it was in the middle of the night, and I had a box of crackers and… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
“The big knight fell heavily to the ground, and lay there, as nearly dead as possible. His servants came running from the… — Roger Lancelyn Green Copy Share Image
I thought I'd go to a craft fair, and there would be a jar of jellybeans there - "Guess how many jellybeans… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
Your husband is lazy if the directions on his medicine say, "A teaspoon before going to bed," and in one day he… — Phyllis Diller Copy Share Image
The National Association of Theater Concessionaires reported that in 1986, 60% of all candy sold in movie theaters was sold to Roger Ebert. — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I've been naked in a lot of my movies. There's something inherently funny about the naked male body, particularly mine. — Paul Rudd Copy Share Image
U r a nice person¦ but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning¦ 1st. pray to God so that u… — A Josland Copy Share Image
When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Throw all caution to the wind, today, on your 40th No need to have wisdom and sage But tomorrow, as you start… — John Walter Bratton Copy Share Image
“You think it’s funny?” Shay said with annoyance. “Yes.” Her friend paused to get her laughter under control. “I’m sorry. It’s just… — Lindsey Brookes Copy Share Image
Perhaps I should have pointed out more often that without her (mother's) guidance and example I might have gone straight from short… — Clive James Copy Share Image
When Frank the Pug is singing I Will Survive, the only reason it's funny is that Will is in that shot trying… — Barry Sonnenfeld Copy Share Image
A friend of mine, now retired, was then a major exec at a major bank, and one of her jobs, the last… — Donald E. Westlake Copy Share Image
“Many a parent, sad to say, has used their child as an opportunity for them, the parent, to do, through their child,… — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
Roses are red violet are blue a face like you belongs to the zoo don't worry I'll the too not in the… — Tania Copy Share Image
It's hard in comedy. Everyone's like, 'Oh, I don't want to be pretty! I want to be funny.' It's such a trope,… — Chloe Fineman Copy Share Image
If your relationship status says, It's complicated maybe you should stop kidding yourself and change it to Single — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Magicians disappear all the time, but as soon as a regular person does it, everyone is all scared. "Tom's gone!" "Is he… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
We were talking about urban youth. And by urban I mean lives in a city not urban as in black like white… — Hannibal Buress Copy Share Image
The funny thing is that the fashions from the '90s seem to sit so well with the fashions of 2016. Everything from… — Edward Enninful Copy Share Image
Music ignited a fiery, pent-up passion inside Elvis and inside me. It was an odd, embarrassing, funny, inspiring, and wonderful sensation. — Ann-Margret Copy Share Image
I was very drunk last night and I took a bus home. It may not sound like a big thing to you… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
![“I thought the idea Jim [Carrey] had, which was to do a comedic version of movies like The Hand That Rocks The Cradle and Unlawful Entry, was really funny. The movie was a little lighter when we first came on, a little more like What About Bob? or something.” quote by Judd Apatow](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/75a/judd-apatow-1471_bob_i-thought-the-idea-jim-carrey-had-which_1951092.jpg)
