The story of the eighties will be the story of the Reagan administration and the many men and women who served in… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
“Irma, she said. But I had started to walk away. I heard her say some more things but by then I had… — Miriam Toews Copy Share Image
“Shh." I squeeze his hand. His palm feels clammy. "We have to keep it down, okay? We don't want my dad coming… — A.G. Howard Copy Share Image
There's something about it to me, the feeling of the water, and feeling, I don't know, equal, and like everyone else. Which… — Jessica Long Copy Share Image
I think the problems with comedians that are political, and there are some brilliant ones, are the ones that offer no solutions.… — Kyle Kinane Copy Share Image
“Shouldn't someone give a pep talk or something?' Minho asked... "Go ahead," Newt replied. Minho nodded and faced the crowd. 'Be careful,'… — James Dashner Copy Share Image
My life is now a constant assessment of whether what's happening in real life is more entertaining than what's happening on my… — Damien Fahey Copy Share Image
You find out in life that people really like you funny. So what do you give 'em? Humor. And then if you… — Terry Bradshaw Copy Share Image
“And tell them what?" Jace said witheringly. "That invisible people are bothering you? Trust me, little girl, the police aren't going to… — Cassandra Clare Copy Share Image
I know she's just trying to make things nice, so I do my part. Now, when I get up to use the… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
9 out of 10 husbands agreed that their wives are always right.. The 10th husband wasn't been seen since the study was conducted.. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Its funny when you cry over someone when they dont even care if they dont care why should we you know there… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I find his films about as funny as getting an arrow through the neck and discovering there's a gas bill tied to… — Rowan Atkinson Copy Share Image
We have North Shore, Hawaii and Lost all there, so they have softball tournaments between the casts. It's hilarious. — Josh Holloway Copy Share Image
“You don’t understand,’ I said. ‘I need to be with her. With every fibre of my being I ache for her. I’m… — Doug MacLeod Copy Share Image
“Gliding down the bike path on a Saturday morning, you whip by somebody peddling in the opposite direction and give each other… — Neil Pasricha Copy Share Image
What I want to be when I grow up? A vet..but my dream is to be a singer/ íactress. Just like the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“You fellows are amazing,' the sweaty cook roared over the stoves. 'Everything happens to you only. Each time you come here, you… — Rohinton Mistry Copy Share Image
“You have a funny way of showing how much you don't like me." "I don't like gophers, either, but I wouldn't leave… — Rosemary Clement-Moore Copy Share Image
I have to continue reminding myself that it's Halloween so I can't rely on my instincts to shoot zombies in the head. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just liked making funny videos, content that people would enjoy. The likes and retweets - that was, like, a plus. — Lil Nas X Copy Share Image
So basically keeping the status as 'Busy' on WhatsApp actually means that the person is always 'Busy on WhatsApp' ^o^ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When my girlfriend and I fight, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house. Just so I can… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: Okay brain, lets focus for just 45 minutes on this math test we can do this. Brain: DADADA BANANA LALALALALA AFRO… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The body is at its best between the ages of thirty and thirty-five; the mind is at its best about the age… — Aristotle Copy Share Image
“Are you in a suit?" I managed at last, my voice choking up. "You didn’t have to dress up for me." "Quiet,… — Richelle Mead Copy Share Image
The human body is in constant change the minute we're born. It's in a constant state of decay. We're all like Ford… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
I don't find the characters I've played funny. The characters are actually taking their situations very seriously. — Paul Rudd Copy Share Image
I have a few cavities. I don't like to call them cavities, though - I like to call them 'places to put… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, for 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers¦ Cheers! — Syzzer Copy Share Image
“girls please give your bodies and your lives to the young men who deserve them besides there is no way I would… — Charles Bukowski Copy Share Image
It was funny because on the day that I joined the club, the newspaper that broke the news was one that people… — Park Ji-sung Copy Share Image
This is a cliché, but never listen to anyone who says “You can’t do that”. Those are usually the people who can’t… — James Altucher Copy Share Image
“It bears repeating a third time: Not being funny doesn't make you a bad person. Not having a sense of humour does.” — David Rakoff Copy Share Image
“God, woman.” He closed his fist, not bothering to count off the dozens of other things she shouldn’t do. “You give me… — Cristin Harber Copy Share Image
“So none of the young men we encountered during our season gave you hot pants for them? Belinda! Your language. I've been… — Rhys Bowen Copy Share Image
It was only when I finished the course and left my graduation diploma on the bus that I realised I'd become an… — James D'arcy Copy Share Image
Unless you are the one who put this baby in here or the one who will take it out, you are not… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They (Americans) have their national game, baseball - which is cricket played with a strong American accent - and they have a… — George Mikes Copy Share Image
“He gave a good yell, for Baba Yaga at her best caused strong windows to crack and fall out of their frames."… — Patricia A. McKillip Copy Share Image
