When I was a kid I used to pretend wafer sticks were cigarettes... I was just that badass — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Withdraw to the untroubled quietude deep within the soul, and refresh yourself. — Marcus Aurelius Copy Share Image
The craft of the merchant is this bringing a thing where it abounds to where it is costly. — Ralph Waldo Emerson Copy Share Image
“Be nice to people on your way up, because you'll land on them on your way down” — Josh Stern Copy Share Image
If Damon Wayans is not breaking, it's a miracle. He is so funny that he makes everyone die laughing. — Casey Wilson Copy Share Image
It is harmful to compare yourself to others. Others will do that for you. — John Wooden Copy Share Image
What a dog I got. Last night he went on the paper four times - three while I was reading it. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
“Oh. Well was this your first time painting a live model?” She nodded her head, with an almost guilty look on her… — Zack Love Copy Share Image
When a fat girl eats a cheeseburger, people think, "Ew, eat a salad." When a fat girl eats a salad, people think,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The teacher asks Timmy "why is your cat at school today?" Timmy says, crying, "Because I heard my daddy say to my… — Lars Propst Copy Share Image
Oh, my dear boy, were not going to punish you for a little thing like that! It was an accident! We dont… — â Cornelius Fudge Copy Share Image
Dear Santa, ( ) I've been good all year. ( ) Ok most of the time. ( ) Once in a while.… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you start explaining why something's funny or finding a formula for it I think it loses some of its funniness. — Betty White Copy Share Image
I'm a stoic. When something goes down the pan, enjoy it. Make the best out of a bad job. I'm not the… — Vic Reeves Copy Share Image
“You are hereby warned that any movement on your part not explicitly endorsed by verbal authorization on my part may pose a… — Neal Stephenson Copy Share Image
