Funny Quotes · Page 68

Nature is a tinkerer, not an inventor.

— Francois Jacob

Now that we can do anything what will we do?

— Bruce Mau

Sarcasm is always perceived as an attack.

— Marshall Sylver

I rest in the light of forgiveness.

— Mary Anne Radmacher

Take action every day - some small dose at a time.

— Jeffrey Gitomer

The far-right and far-left can be equally insane.

— John Avlon

A pie in the face is funny. Comedy gold.

— Matthew Moy

Tell me where do I belong in a sick society?

— Ozzy Osbourne

It's really unimaginable that I could start where I was and get here today.

— Steve Harvey

A group of idiots led by a wise man can defeat a group of wise people led by an idiot.

— Senora Roy

He who gives you the diameter of your knowledge,presc ribes the circumference of your activities.

— Louis Farrakhan

The most insupportable of tyrannies is that of inferiors.

— Napoleon Bonaparte

Giving your best friend the look when someone is being annoying as hell...!:)

— Stay_true_4_life

When they say that I am too old to make a thing, I try to make it immediately.

— Pablo Picasso

Apparently, everyone smokes weed...but everyone is passing drug tests too...hmmmm

— Jerett Parker

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like, "Dude, you have to wait".

— Mitch Hedberg

“You should have been born a poet,” she whispered as she pulled away. “Screw that,” he laughed as he placed a gentle…

— Amelia Hutchins

Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of…

— Erma Bombeck

Austin Theory's young, super-talented and thinks he's the cat's meow. But I'm just going to punish him. It's going to be pretty…

— Roderick Strong

“Lokeij whistled. “Make the king’s warriors vanish if they come. . . what a deceitful turtledove you are.” Aly smiled at the…

— Tamora Pierce

She goes to Frederick's of Hollywood at the mall and purchases an explicit lingerie outfit so sheer that you could read an…

— Dave Barry

That's all we had when I was a kid: Robitussin. No matter what you got, Robitussin better handle it. "Daddy, I got…

— Chris Rock

American radio is the reverse of the Shakespearean stage. In Shakespeare's time the world's greatest dramas were acted with the most primitive…

— George Mikes

“As soon as the door closed, Uncle Enzo looked around. "I say he needs money." Uncle Nico shook his head. "He's been…

— Ashleigh Stevens

If i had known better, I would have done better.

— Kim Kardashian

I didn't say the things I said.

— Yogi Berra

I miss you like a retard misses the point.

— Unkown

Congratulations! You've just read this sentence.

— Green Monk

Keep your sense of humor. Stay funny.

— Frederick Lenz

Don't be outraged, be outrageous.

— Tom Robbins

Sweet cream on an ice cream sandwich!

— Dwayne Johnson

The more I learn, the more excited I get.

— Johnny Cash

There are no objective values.

— J. L. Mackie

Did It hurt when you fell from Heaven?

— 21 Jump Street

It's harder to be funny from the position of power.

— George Carlin

Let's adopt a dog for you to take care of.

— Anonymous

I have nothing to say, and I am saying it.

— John Cage

Nothing is or can be accidental with God.

— Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

There must be consistency in direction.

— W. Edwards Deming

You can see beauty in everything, except for yourself.

— Justina Chen