Funny Quotes · Page 66

In our house, my mum was the funny one.

— Lenny Henry

Legalize it, and I will advertise it.

— Peter Tosh

Yes Im a bum. But Im a Harvard bum. 'With Honors'

— Anonymous

If you can dream it, you can make it so.

— Belva Davis

The audacity to love. Do you know what a gift that is?

— Laini Taylor

I didn't fall… the Earth rotated incorrectly.

— Anonymous

What's politically correct a lot of times is not funny.

— Denis Leary

Seek passion, seek passion, seek passion!

— Rumi

I'm an American, I don't have to see something to know it's stupid!

— Tommy Smothers

This Canada Day, I'd love to go out for some traditional Canadian cuisine if there was such a thing.

— Anonymous

You couldn't fool your mother on the foolingest day of your life if you had an electrified fooling machine.

— Anonymous

Ain't Its Funny How You Have No Friends After High School… ëëëKlearlyûûû

— MrJayPee

When life gives you lemon, take the lemon close and have sex with his girlfriend

— Charith Thilina

Be fanatics. When it comes to being and doing and dreaming the best, be maniacs.

— A. M. Rosenthal

I was about to hug someone sexy but then I head- butted the mirror... lol(:

— Sharon

But I think frustration is hilarious. One of my missions is to bring humor into fine art. It's sacred.

— Wayne White

Summer is the season when a man thinks he can cook better on an outdoor grill than his wife can on an…

— Anonymous

The audience is so important. Because there's something that I might think is super funny, but if it's just not getting the…

— Ali Wong

My Mom always tells me to write A brief thank you note that's polite. To avoid her tongue-lash Thanks a bunch for…

— Anonymous

I saw a door that said exit only. So I entered through it and went up to the guy working there and…

— Demetri Martin

When somebody left you, people might say that, theres plenty of fishes in the sea but theres also sharks, seaweed and toxic…

— Reymon Iglesia

Watching a gorgeous vampire and buff werewolf battle for a girl's love is the perfect distraction from my inability to meet a…

— Anonymous

Most people tell me that what they are surprised about the most is that I sing really well, I always find it…

— Jinkx Monsoon

It's so funny how my name has always been such a big deal. When I was growing up, my family was always…

— Calista Flockhart

My biggest strength is that no one can read my forehand

— Sania Mirza

I did what I knew.. when I knew better, I did better

— Maya Angelou

I wasn't trying to be anything. I was just myself.

— Bettie Page

It's amazing how stupid you can be when you're in love.

— Anonymous

She lived in fear of ifonic endings.

— Anne Lamott

Everything that happens, happens of necessity.

— Arthur Schopenhauer

When u ar nt right try left.

— Rashid Ahmed Bin Said

I am romantic about the NHS. I love it.

— Donald Berwick

Asia: Four little letters, three billion little people.

— Stephen Colbert

But I'm gon' get mine more than I get got.

— Marshawn Lynch

CUI BONO? [Latin] What good would that do "me"?

— Ambrose Bierce

If you want a princess, you must first become a prince.

— Ritu Ghatourey

We're all pretty individualistic.

— Stewart Udall

You belong somewhere you feel free.

— Tom Petty

Oh my God — I'm turning into my mother!

— Sarah

Plan your work - work your plan

— B. C. Forbes