Funny Quotes · Page 655

How could one create life with someone who represented death?

— Erica Jong

We have the power to change our lives, and the world around us.

— Serj Tankian

Freedom is merely privilege extended, unless enjoyed by one and all.

— Billy Bragg

Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter.

— Nikhil Saluja

We react very quickly in the market. We can make quick changes.

— John Ilhan

I have an impulse to take a nap as soon as I get up in the morning…

— Boboniu

Forgiveness.. It Is The Wonderful Smell That A Flower Gives., When its Being Crushed..!!

— Nikhil Saluja

If you are not doing what you love, then start doing it, even if it is only part-time.

— Robert Kiyosaki

“The woman rolled her eyes. “DarkRiver males are damn possessive and complete exhibitionists during the mating dance.” Sascha ran through her dictionary…

— Nalini Singh

The greatest comfort of my old age, and that which gives me the greatest satisfaction, is the pleasing remembrance of the many…

— Anonymous

Apparently, my father was funny. I didn't really know him, but people have theories that the gag-smith gene trickles down through the…

— Aisling Bea

Wine is similar to music in that it's a purely experiential realm, and it's a purely subjective practice. That's sort of the…

— Mike D

And the line up for the final of the women's 400 metres hurdles includes three Russians, two East Germans, a Pole, a…

— David Coleman

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make a meal and take it to a friend who was sick, and…

— Nikhil Saluja

Sometimes, when I see a very beautiful person, I just stop for a while and stare until I get tired. Then, I…

— Anonymous

I'm not a superficil, dramatic, makeup caked, bra stuffing, leg spreading, whore. if you cant accept that, you dont deserve me.

— Anonymous

Weights & Measures: 1,000,000 aches and pains = 1 megaHertz

— Nikhil Saluja

That looks like something out of the dumpster of planned parenthood.

— Jim Norton

“In his experience, ‘trust me’ was just a polite way of saying ‘brace yourself.”

— Janus Lucky

My friend of dreams don't believe me, that I am dreaming.

— Nikhil Saluja

I don’t spend much because a lot of it is freebies. Though, usually, I pay.

— Sonam Kapoor

I wasn't really asleep I was just meditating on unconsciousness.

— Paul Bourget

If I received a dollar for every facebook post that was posted in a month I would be richer than Bill Gates.

— Damian Coleman

Im a leader not a follower, but if its a dark place then screw it your going first!

— Ana Chable

“I’d like to say I’m not dressed up for anyone in particular, but that would be a lie.”

— Lisa Daily

I'm a controversial figure. My friends either dislike me or hate me.

— Anonymous

It's funny how God will change your plans for you when he's ready.

— Brett Young

My biggest problem is falling in love with those who retweet me,

— Nikhil Saluja

Your services might be as useful as a barbershop on the steps of a guillotine.

— Rowan Atkinson

If you don't succeed at first, hide all evidence that you tried.

— Anonymous

I am learning to get online myself, and I will have that down fairly soon, getting on myself,

— John McCain

Sexuality is a very private thing, 'Provocateur' will make it public

— Tyler Shields

Don't talk about a rope in the house of someone whose father was hung.

— Colin Farrell

I hate sitting in traffic, because I always get run over.

— Milton Jones

I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam: I looked into the soul of another boy.

— Woody Alle

Sometimes, everyone is right. Not always and not even usually, but once in a while, everyone is right.

— Cherie Priest

“Are you coming back to campus or you sticking around here with the prick?”

— Holly Hood

The golden rule of work is that the bosses jokes are ALWAYS funny.

— Robert Paul

I'm a prankster, so some of the - you know, I like a good joke. I think when it's funny, it's funny.

— Sean Spicer

God understands that part of us which is more than what we think we are.

— Anonymous