“You making jokes about my illness? Not funny. Me making jokes about my illness? Funny.” — Carla Ulbrich Copy Share Image
MARRIAGE, An event, for the upper middle class, is the only adventure left; — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Fact: Women suffer more migraines more men. Reason: Because we have to deal with men — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Stolen oranges also have Vitamin C. Likewise, a stolen salmon, too, has omega-3 fatty acids.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“We tend to get a little information before we off people. It’s not a play by ear sort of deal.” — Holly Hood Copy Share Image
Therapist: you should be in a mental institute Me: I'm already on Twitter — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“If your closest friends stop showing up to your barbecues, you're probably in a bad relationship.” — Anna Faris Copy Share Image
I listen to my music and sing when I have problems, then I realize my voice is worse than my problems. — Twang_beauty Copy Share Image
I told him, 'Son, what is it with you? Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I… — Frank Layden Copy Share Image
This girl just got mad cause I said she had awesome boobs, how the hell was I supposed to know the dude… — Green Monk Copy Share Image
It's funny: being green to me was ingrained because my parents were always trying to save money, save water, turn off the… — Su-chin Pak Copy Share Image
As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really,… — Scott Adams Copy Share Image
When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.… — Josh Billings Copy Share Image
I don't understand how people approach their crush. I don't even have the guts to ask for an extra ketchup at McDonalds. — Amit Verma Copy Share Image
No One Diets on Thanksgiving. What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November… — Erma Bombeck Copy Share Image
Being a Scientologist, when you drive past an accident... you know you have to do something about it because you know you're… — Tom Cruise Copy Share Image
If you prayed as much as you worry, you'd have nothing to worry about. — Rick Warren Copy Share Image
First day of school: I'm actually gonna try this year! Next week: Yeah, no. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Are you mad? Or you staring because my umbrella's more manly then yours? — Brendon Urie Copy Share Image
When you see the beloved all around you, everyone is family and everywhere is love. — Ram Dass Copy Share Image
The biggest critics of my books are the people who never read them. — Jackie Collins Copy Share Image
Do you know how happiness begins? It begins with no longer being afraid. — Guus Kuijer Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night... you sat in a cardboard box and said you were a tree.” — Nicole McKay Copy Share Image
Dad, sorry the cute things I did as a kid couldn't be shamelessly exploited on YouTube or a reality show... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician. — Marty Feldman Copy Share Image
There a 3 types of people in this world. Those who can count and those who can't. — Unnnown Copy Share Image
Happiness is simply to allow everything to be exactly as it is from moment to moment. — Rupert Spira Copy Share Image
YES, I'm pregnant again. YES, I know what causes it. NO I don't think I've had too many! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Age is a tyrant who forbids at the penalty of life all the pleasures of youth. — Francois La Rochefoucauld Copy Share Image
“Cowboy!" she hollered. Every man on the street turned to stare at her.” — Lori Wilde Copy Share Image
Thought is not merely expressed in words, it comes into existence through them — Lev S. Vygotsky Copy Share Image
When you talk like an asshole and look like an asshole, you're an asshole — John Lydon Copy Share Image
