Success is not how much money you have in a bank. Success is how many lives you have touched. — Naveen Jain Copy Share Image
Always be nice to people to their face. Then when they turn around, berate the back of their head. — Benson Bruno Copy Share Image
I don't care if I have a closet full of clothes, there's NOTHING TO WEAR! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A small man can cast a large shadow, especially when a fat man is standing behind him. — MJ McGuire Copy Share Image
I never go to movies where the hero's tits are bigger than the heroine's. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Sanguillen is totally unpredictable to pitch to because he's so unpredictable. — Jerry Coleman Copy Share Image
The top 25 things drunkards usually say are : 1. You are my Brother. 2. You Know I am not drunk. 3.… — Di Lee Shaan Copy Share Image
I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste. — David Bissonnette Copy Share Image
There's been a lot of coming home in the early mornings after funny nights out, having bizarre sandwiches in bed. — Neneh Cherry Copy Share Image
We told Stanley Roberts to go on a water diet, and Lake Superior disappeared. Pat Williams When Xavier McDaniel plays against Orlando… — Mychal Thompson Copy Share Image
I must remain always, both in principle + actively, interested in everything. Taking all of knowledge as my province. — Susan Sontag Copy Share Image
I think I regard any history in quotes, because just like science, we're constantly revising science, we're constantly revising history. — David S. Goyer Copy Share Image
“Who calls at Habetrot's chamber?' comes a whispery voice. Oak raises his eyebrows at me, as though he intends me to answer.… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
The whole point of real comedy is that you can say something that is true, and by being funny, you can make… — Dave Rubin Copy Share Image
We took pictures of the native girls, but they weren't developed. . . But we're going back next week. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
I have a very bad relationship with the future. We don't get on. We just ignore each other. — Pete Doherty Copy Share Image
Who will be the happiest person? The one who brings happiness to others. — Swami Satchidananda Copy Share Image
It's not brain surgery. It's not nuclear physics. It's television. It's only television. — Linda Ellerbee Copy Share Image
Experience is a funny thing. You don't always have it when you need it. — Patrick Chan Copy Share Image
To work is to undertake to think something other than what one has thought before — Michel Foucault Copy Share Image
If you dont like a Rule... Just Follow it.. Reach on the Top.. and Change the Rule — Adolf Hitler Copy Share Image
“Embarrassing facts, those would really help our children remember their classroom lessons better.” — Bauvard Copy Share Image
What's funny about my resume is so much of what I've done has not been seen. — Nicholas D'Agosto Copy Share Image
An ethicist is someone who sees something wrong with whatever you have in mind. — Marvin Minsky Copy Share Image
It's all fun and games until you see a picture of yourself from 6th grade. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Maybe truth is not something that I can possess. Maybe truth is something which possesses me. — Jon Foreman Copy Share Image
My philosophy is that you sell things for more than you bought them. — Sophia Amoruso Copy Share Image
I had no desire to get up onstage and tell jokes. I prefer to stand next to really funny people. — Jon Hamm Copy Share Image
