“Good cops make their bosses look good, and Hector was a one-man beauty school.” — Edward Conlon Copy Share Image
Always do what you feel deeply in the within to be the true thing to do. — Wallace D. Wattles Copy Share Image
There seems to be hardly any one among my acquaintance from whom I have not learned. — C. S. Lewis Copy Share Image
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific. — Lily Tomlin Copy Share Image
Science is the most complete presentment of facts with the least expenditure of thought — Ernst Mach Copy Share Image
“Did you feed the fish?” Nick closed his eyes. “Alexa, I’m working.” She made a rude snort. “So am I. But at… — Jennifer Probst Copy Share Image
It's funny: We have so many shows and so many channels and so many things to occupy people as entertainment, especially with… — Joe Morton Copy Share Image
... still his philanthropy was of that gunpowderous sort that the difference between it and animosity was hard to determine. — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
The government are considering spending £3million on a state funeral for Margaret Thatcher when she dies. For £3million they could buy everyone… — Frankie Boyle Copy Share Image
[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful. — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
It's funny, because I did all of these interviews as soon as I had the baby, and they were asking questions, and… — Emily Procter Copy Share Image
San Francisco leads the world in the category of Most People On The Sidewalk Holding Conversations With Purely Imaginary Companions. — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
The Army has carried the American... ideal to its logical conclusion... Not only do they prohibit discrimination on the grounds of race,… — Tom Lehrer Copy Share Image
My girlfriend isn't very punctual. She's been late on her period for 6 months now. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
Give women the vote, and in five years there will be a crushing tax on bachelors. — George Bernard Shaw Copy Share Image
THAT MINI HEART ATTACK You get when you realize you forgot to do your homework — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Studying means: to text, to eat and to watch TV with an open book neatby. — Michael Angelo De Leon Copy Share Image
I respect a woman's decision to undergo plastic surgery to go from being ugly to being ugly & disgusting. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
“Revenge was an expensive sport. The question was always whether the prize was worth the ticket.” — Janus Lucky Copy Share Image
Ladies call me Subway because I've got low-quality meat and lie about being six inches! — Green Monk Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you pose nude for your art teacher and you flunk the course. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When we no longer seek God for His blessings, we have time to seek Him for Himself. — Oswald Chambers Copy Share Image
Question: How much do you have to invest in the future before you've spent it and no longer have one? — Mark Steyn Copy Share Image
I am a conscientious man, when I throw rocks at seabirds I leave no tern unstoned. — Ogden Nash Copy Share Image
People say Go to Hell like it's a bad thing. I wouldn't mind Hell, it's warm and I know people there. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's not that I don't suffer, it's that I know the unimportance of suffering. — John Galt Copy Share Image
I used to be scared of pretty girls, until one confessed they're just as scared of me. — Emo Philips Copy Share Image
I hate to say it but I hate black humor. I feel like a Klan member saying it, but it's just not… — Issa Rae Copy Share Image
How many things... are looked upon as quite impossible until they have been actually effected? — Pliny the Elder Copy Share Image
![“[Jellyfish] are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful.” quote by Karl Pilkington](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/165/karl-pilkington-1541_environmental_jellyfish-are-97-water-or-something-so-h_1621614.png)
