I didn't set out to write some female-empowering movie; I just wanted to write a funny college comedy. — Kay Cannon Copy Share Image
Me: Haha I'm older! Friend:Haha you'll die first! Me: Not if I get my license first and run you over bitch! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hello Darling!This might be the Last message I am sending you……………. 'Coz I got no balance in my mobile. — VinayKumar Copy Share Image
You know it was a really crazy night if you wake up in your own bed, but end up in a strangers… — Amanda Roberts Copy Share Image
As you look at the first four, the significant thing is that Alboreto is fifth. — Murray Walker Copy Share Image
When getting divorced remember: Don't Insult the Alligator till after you cross the river. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What's so funny is people are like, 'Why do you just post pictures of cats?' I said, 'If you don't want to… — Beth Ostrosky Stern Copy Share Image
You'll hear 'Hippie,' or, 'Get a haircut.' I like it. I think it's funny because they think we've never heard that before.… — Jacob deGrom Copy Share Image
I was always funny, but I wasn't a great musician, and I wanted to be a musician way more than I wanted… — Greg Behrendt Copy Share Image
“I didn't say what kind of book. You have a foul mind Bingley." "Don't mock me on my sister's wedding day!" "I… — Marsha Altman Copy Share Image
“Do you see that man in the black Porsche?" I asked the women. They squinted out at Ranger. "Yes," they said."Your partner."… — Janet Evanovich Copy Share Image
I never felt any pressure to be funny. A lot of the funny stuff I did was more off-the-cuff. I might be… — Jimmy Bullard Copy Share Image
It is our knowledge - the things we are sure of - that makes the world go wrong and keeps us from… — Lincoln Steffens Copy Share Image
Today's toys contain computer chips, so they can move and talk; this stimulates the mind of your child. Notice I say "your… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
There's nothing cure or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It upsets me where you do a take and people go 'that's so funny,' and you think 'I was being serious.' — Tom Bateman Copy Share Image
Thumbs up you say EA Sports, its in the game along with the guy who says it — Ronde Dawson Copy Share Image
“Evil influence is like a nicotine patch, you cannot help but absorb what sticks to you.” — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is not that we don't know the right answers, it is just that we don't ask the right questions. — Tony Robbins Copy Share Image
If you can be funny, it means you're intelligent. Your brain is working fast. — Amber Valletta Copy Share Image
We were very aggressive, and when we're aggressive, it's hard to stop us. — Kerri Walsh Copy Share Image
The truth doesn't hurt. Whatever it is, it doesn't hurt. It's better to know the truth. — Ricky Gervais Copy Share Image
He who reads much and understands much, receives his fill. He who is full, refreshes others. — Ambrose Copy Share Image
That heart attack moment when your phone is in a different pocket than normal so you start to panic.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Bragging that you had sex with a prostitute is like bragging that you got Doritos out of a vending machine. — Natasha Leggero Copy Share Image
“Some people ate less food less often when they each had a home than they now do as hobos.” — Mokokoma Mokhonoana Copy Share Image
“The funny thing about the heart is a soft heart is a strong heart, and a hard heart is a weak heart.” — Criss Jami Copy Share Image
It's funny how a few words from you could make me feel a million times better. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Has there ever been a visitor to Ludlow who hasn't wished they lived there? — Jeremy Paxman Copy Share Image
He said to Jacob, "Let me eat some of that red stuff, because I'm exhausted." — Genesis 25:30 Copy Share Image
Come on, Chris. It'll be just you, me, and the great, wide open over here. — Triple H Copy Share Image
A lot of women don't like to give blow jobs. On a related note: A lot of marriages fail. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
What a wonderful thought it is that some of the best days of our lives haven't even happened yet. — Anne Frank Copy Share Image
