The funny thing is I'm not bothered or sad about being on my own - after all I've never had a husband. — Francesca Annis Copy Share Image
It's not about how fast you go. It's not about how far you go. It's a process. — Amby Burfoot Copy Share Image
Some people's relationship statusshould be in a relationship with___, while cheating with __ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Would you rather have an overachieving 3-Star, or an underachieving 5-Star? — Bret Bielema Copy Share Image
If a wig is funny when it's two feet tall, why not make it three feet tall? Or ten? — Chris March Copy Share Image
“One's 'thing'--(1) A point of personal interest; a hobby, sport, or avocation that succinctly defines a person. (2) A brief coupling of… — Joshua Braff Copy Share Image
I've never tweeted. 'Funny or Die' started my Twitter account for me, and so I don't even have the password or anything… — Tig Notaro Copy Share Image
Ladies, If your man is telling, you are so cute & funny, Tell him you are on periods & see the PMS… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My girlfriend bought a cook book the other day called 'Cheap and easy vegetarian cooking'. Which is perfect for her, because not… — Jimmy Carr Copy Share Image
“It was around then that the phone rang. It was my friend Cee Cee, wanting to know if I cared to join… — Meg Cabot Copy Share Image
People come back from flights and tell you a story like it's a horror story. That's how bad they make it sound.… — Louis C. K Copy Share Image
“Stealing is good, honest work," Said the theif, puffing out his chest. "Well, not honest, strictly speaking," he admitted after a moment.… — Adam Rex Copy Share Image
Today's heat has me more hot and bothered than a lonely housewife reading Fifty Shades of Grey at a Magic Mike screening. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
