You know the Hulk? That is what the Green Giant looks like when you don't eat your vegetables. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
COP: sir, have you been drinking? MAN: no! COP: papers.. MAN: Scissors, I WIN! — Ana Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm singing a song and some idiot thinks the can join with me… dumb fuck this isn't glee — Khadijahhomes Copy Share Image
At the Touch of love, Everyone becomes a poet At the Touch of Breakup, Everyone becomes a philosopher .. — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Researchers claim that the Internet is making us dumber and more impatient. I dont get it. Moving on. — Hussein Nishah Copy Share Image
I am suspicious of a holiday solely devoted to a man's inability to ask for directions... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can't choose your potential, but you can choose to fulfill it. — Theodore Roosevelt Copy Share Image
“I haven't met that many women, human or angelic, who actually like to drive. In my experience they seem to be much… — Tad Williams Copy Share Image
Kids, they are always hurting themselves. It's like, "Quick, get me to casualty quick!" while your doing something important like sitting down… — Dylan Moran Copy Share Image
There sit the sainted sage, the bard divine, The few, whom genius gave to shine Through every unborn age, and undiscovered clime. — Thomas Gray Copy Share Image
“I'm sorry, I don't understand. Could you tell me more about this 'profanity'?" Mrs. Miller nodded at my dictionary. "I'll assume you… — Dale Peck Copy Share Image
If anyone ever paid attention to my Twitter awhile back, I had a blast on there. I wrote whatever I wanted to… — Matt Mitrione Copy Share Image
For people who have done comedy after a certain point in time, I think there's a base level of, 'O.K., I think… — Will Ferrell Copy Share Image
Even though the Olympics take place during Ramadan, some Muslim athletes said they will not fast during games. Then, after sampling the… — Conan O'Brien Copy Share Image
Karch inspired his partners, his opponents and the world of volleyball players to be better than they were, to be great... In… — Mike Dodd Copy Share Image
