The awkward moment when you realize your joke isn't as funny as you thought. — Alexia Copy Share Image
They say you can never win from a woman in an arguement, I say you can never win from a woman in… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Happy Memorial Day to someone who would stab himself in the leg to avoid military service. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In the grand collage that is Dada, past and future are equally usable. — Andrei Codrescu Copy Share Image
Sometimes I make my life a living hell by writing complex stories with complex characters. But I love it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not a bad student, my study breaks are just longer than my study time! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Is he about to kiss me? Did he eat garlic too or was I the only one? 'Cause if Ric didn't eat… — Zathyn Priest Copy Share Image
“I tried to kill you,' she reminds me. 'You've described pretty much every important relationship in my life,' I return.” — Holly Black Copy Share Image
Do they allow tipping on the boat? - Yes, sir. Have you got two fives? - Oh, yes, sir. Then you won't… — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Writing humor for me is more like a watchful-ness. You have to watch. When you say something funny, or someone else does,… — Ian Frazier Copy Share Image
We decide to start with the best-known sight of all, the one that, more than any other, exemplifies what the Big Apple… — Dave Barry Copy Share Image
My strips are not always funny, and they can be pretty grim at times, and I know I lose readers because of… — Lynda Barry Copy Share Image
The modelling was fun but I don't see it the same as music, because with modelling, I was just kind of lucky,… — Erica Packer Copy Share Image
I can't think of anything that excites a greater sense of childlike wonder than to be in a country where you are… — Bill Bryson Copy Share Image
