You're trying to inspire us...on TWITTER. I am sure I'm not the only one who finds this funny. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Your ass is like a wallet without cash, jeans without pockets... flat and useless. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
There are caregivers and there are caretakers, and yet the two words are not opposites. Why is this? — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“I wanted to remind you that you do not allow me to deliver boats, as I have been known to crash them.” — Jennifer Echols Copy Share Image
Sorry I am posting call me maybe quotes, Kennedy got me started on looking them up:P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All beings exist ultimately in a condition of inner enlightenment. Enlightenment is in all things. — Frederick Lenz Copy Share Image
In at least one way we are atypical bloggers. That’s because we just keep on posting. The typical blogger, like most people… — Stephen J. Dubner Copy Share Image
“He shrugged. “I have a stomach thing. Don’t get close.” “Well, now you’ve spoiled everything,” I said casually, working hard to fake… — Michelle Hodkin Copy Share Image
Sometimes its better to bunk a class & do fun with friends because today when I look back... Marks never make me… — Punkinhead Abhishek Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. It wasn't until after you sold me the talking car, I realized you were… — Michael Summers Copy Share Image
I kinda expected to turn the bottle and see a recipe. "So that's how you make ice cubes. Apparently you just freeze… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I didn't realize how good I was with technology until I met my parents... my dad told me "You're good; you should… — Mike Birbiglia Copy Share Image
Hello?... No I'm sorry no Shaquita here. Well what number did you dial?.. No it's a nine not a seven... Well try… — Katt Williams Copy Share Image
Comedy clubs have brick walls behind the performer. Bricks make you funny. When I'm in front of a fireplace, I'm hilarious. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
