“Why do people say available,actually they are not pertaining to...this is Bullshit!!” — Nikhil Deshpande Copy Share Image
A storybook marriage? No, not at all. What Mitt Romney and I have is a real marriage. — Ann Romney Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you realize you've been mispronouncing a word your entire life... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Being me is funny. I've made this weird character, and I think it's really funny. — Miley Cyrus Copy Share Image
Interesting survey in the current Journal of Abnormal Psychology: New York City has a higher percentage of people you shouldn't make any… — David Letterman Copy Share Image
I don't feel that I'm explaining the world or teaching people anything. And I'm not trying to be a mirror, showing them… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
What's very funny is when you see amateurs filming something, they do some things no professionals would dare to do. They instinctively… — William Klein Copy Share Image
“My congratulations to you, sir. Your manuscript is both good and original; but the part that is good is not original, and… — Samuel Johnson Copy Share Image
The lady across the hall tried to rob a department store . . . with a pricing gun. She said, "Give me… — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then… — Milton Jones Copy Share Image
Theres two kinds of women: The kind that get married and have a bunch of kids, and The kind that stay single… — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
My father tried to give me the sex talk once, and he chickened out. He walked into my room and went, 'Adam… — Adam Ferrara Copy Share Image
