The Elephant Man would never have gotten up and gone, ‘Oh, God. Look at me hair today.’ — Karl Pilkington Copy Share Image
I thought 'RV' stood for 'Recreational Vehicle.' No! It stands for 'Ruins Vacations.' — Bill Engvall Copy Share Image
I start remembering all the times you told me you loved me and all the moments you took my breath away. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Regular naps prevent old age,especially when you take them while driving. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Kid: Mom stop you are not funny. You never makes jokes. Mom: I made you. 24 April 2012÷ — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I bet in Africa they play commercials of American stripper girls starving for their father's attention. — Green Monk Copy Share Image
This could be so much more. So much more than a casual kiss, and a quick caress beneath the sheets. This really… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I find that rock climbing is the finest, most healthiest sport in the whole world. It is much healthier than most; look… — John Salathe Copy Share Image
Dear Mother In Law don't teach me how to handle my children. I am living with one of yours and he needs… — Ritu Ghatourey Copy Share Image
Sometimes you're not getting the laughs you want or at the place you want but that doesn't mean it's not funny. It… — Baron Vaughn Copy Share Image
“You can't sleep beside me,' I hissed. 'I'm not.' With the edge of his blanket in hand, he draped it, along with… — Jennifer L. Armentrout Copy Share Image
The same God who created Rembrandt created you, and you are as precious in God’s sight as Rembrandt or anyone else. — Zig Ziglar Copy Share Image
“I had a dream about you last night. We went to the store cupboard to make out, but we ended up sharing… — Michael Summers Copy Share Image
“Instead of Rock, Paper, Scissors, you could play Brick, Blanket, Action Fingers, in which brick cripples action fingers, blanket smothers brick and… — Nicole McKay Amy Riekhof Copy Share Image
