I love my brothers' kids. It's funny - as an uncle, you become so protective of them. — Liam Hemsworth Copy Share Image
Earthmen are not proud of their ancestors and never invite them round to dinner. — Douglas Adams Copy Share Image
Just because I’m single and don’t date a lot, that doesn’t make me a lesbian. — Kelly Clarkson Copy Share Image
In high school, when I played football I got no respect. I shared a locker with a mop. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
We have to allow ourselves to see what there is to see, and we have to imagine. — David Almond Copy Share Image
My wife always bring these injured animals to home. I think she should just stop driving. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
“He stared at her neck. Realization pulsed. He was looking at the bite he had given her. A hard length was growing… — Thea Harrison Copy Share Image
The age of our fathers, which was worse than that of our ancestors, produced us, who are about to raise a progeny… — Horace Copy Share Image
A blond goes to a store and asks the cashier, can I buy that TV? no. why not? because your blond. seriously… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Funny and sad are two sides of the same coin. I think that most comedians are able to tap into deep subject… — Hasan Minhaj Copy Share Image
It's a guy thing really means There's no rational thought pattern connected with it and you can't make it logical. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Once, I was doing Bon Qui Qui in Miami, and this black girl was in the audience, and she yelled out, 'That's… — Anjelah Johnson Copy Share Image
So this bloke says to me, "Can I come in your house and talk about your carpets?" I thought "That's all I… — Tim Vine Copy Share Image
For my first gig, I got $75. I could make money being funny, so I pursued it as a career and have… — Tracy Morgan Copy Share Image
There is nothing good in love but the physical part. — Georges-Louis Leclerc, Comte de Buffon Copy Share Image
