Evan Esar

There's nothing as short as short-term debt.

— Evan Esar

A word to the wise is -- unnecessary.

— Evan Esar

The diamond is the hardest stone -- to get.

— Evan Esar

After wisdom comes wit.

— Evan Esar

Play: Work that you enjoy doing for nothing.

— Evan Esar

All work and no pay makes a housewife.

— Evan Esar

If you don't like to make excuses or apologies, stop making promises.

— Evan Esar

Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.

— Evan Esar

Good teachers cost a lot; but, poor teachers cost a lot more.

— Evan Esar

The computer saves man a lot of guesswork, but so does the bikini.

— Evan Esar

Conscience gets a lot of credit that really belongs to cowardice.

— Evan Esar

Divorce is the price people play for playing with matches.

— Evan Esar

Experience is a great teacher, and sometimes a pretty teacher is a great experience.

— Evan Esar

Some people blow their top, but all people blow their bottom.

— Evan Esar

The best time to give advice to your children is while they're still young enough to believe you know what you're talking…

— Evan Esar

Lecturers should remember that the capacity of the mind to absorb is limited to what the seat can endure.

— Evan Esar

The reason why men who mind their own business succeed is that they have so little competition.

— Evan Esar

[A mathematician is a] scientist who can figure out anything except such simple things as squaring the circle and trisecting an angle.

— Evan Esar

There is a lot of difference between the man who is not able and his brother who is notable.

— Evan Esar

The difference between us and other people is that their money looks bigger and their troubles smaller.

— Evan Esar

A woman is always ready to describe another woman as charming, but only if the other woman is not charming.

— Evan Esar

Eloquence is the art of saying as little as possible but making it sound as much as possible.

— Evan Esar

Etymology: from Latin ad-, "to" + visum, past participle of videre, "to see". Advice is what you get from your parents when…

— Evan Esar

Many a wedding takes place when a man can't afford to go steady with a girl any longer.

— Evan Esar

In Congress the majority governs, but the minority rules.

— Evan Esar

The survival of the fittest is going to make some man very lonesome some day.

— Evan Esar

With a braggart, it's no sooner done than said.

— Evan Esar

Many a woman would get a divorce if she could do it without making her husband happy.

— Evan Esar

Zoo: An excellent place to study the habits of human beings.

— Evan Esar

If you can't bear to have your face stepped on, don't try to climb the ladder of success.

— Evan Esar

Adolescence begins when children stop asking questions-because they know all the answers.

— Evan Esar

The only place where you can find equality is in the cemetery.

— Evan Esar

A signature always reveals a man's character - and sometimes even his name.

— Evan Esar

Character is what you have left when you've lost everything you can lose.

— Evan Esar

A batch of credit cards fattens a wallet before it thins it.

— Evan Esar

Adam and Eve were the first of all unions to defy management.

— Evan Esar

Most new books are forgotten within a year, especially by those who borrow them.

— Evan Esar

If you want to be successful, you must either have a chance or take one.

— Evan Esar

The honeymoon is the only period when a woman isn't trying to reform her husband.

— Evan Esar

Washington is the place where nobody believes a rumor until it has been officially denied.

— Evan Esar