Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard? Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle? — Steven Wright Copy Share Image
So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three. — Alexandre Dumas Copy Share Image
What do you call those things you find at the bottom of rivers? Frogs? Stones? Unsuccessful Gangsters? — Terry Pratchett Copy Share Image
She was old too, when she went to school they didn't have history. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
We are here not only to transform the world but also to be transformed. — Parker J. Palmer Copy Share Image
If someone says I love you, and you don't feel the same way, just say I love YouTube really fast. — Kevin McCarty Copy Share Image
Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
If I send you a text and you don'trespond, and then I see you update Facebook at the same time, you're dead… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mom, I'm doing my homework,I promise. LOL, JK. I just minimized Facebook and opened Google the second you walked in my room — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Shane's orgasmic contribution was an innovative and masterful variation on the theme of oh: “Oh...Oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...oh...AH!” Stretching the waistband of my boxers I… — Gillibran Brown Copy Share Image
My opinions are like farts; So hard to hold em in, and when one slips everyones gonna know it and at least… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“How many beers do y'all think it takes before one internationally scientist turns to another and says, 'Dude, bet you twenty bucks… — Robyn Schneider Copy Share Image
“Oh, come on. Don’t tell me you all have never been to Doveport? Our sister city across the sea?” “People don’t say… — Terrance Crawford Copy Share Image
We spend the first half of our lives trying to grow up and the other half trying to figure out how we… — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
