Nothing makes me want a relationship to fail more than matching profile pictures. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you smile a lot, when you're older all your wrinkles will be in the right place. — Terra Gilbert Copy Share Image
There are really funny alternative comics and really funny straight comics who write and perform traditionally. — David Cross Copy Share Image
If you are not doing what your passion is, you are putting it on layaway. — Denis Waitley Copy Share Image
It's funny, because I was trained as a dramatic actor at New York's Colonnades Theater Lab in the '70s, along with Jeff… — Peter Scolari Copy Share Image
That annoying moment when you just want to listen to music but someone wants to constantly speak to you, making you pause… — Emanuel Sebastiao Copy Share Image
Ritesh Deshmukh is rock star. He has a lovely family. He works so hard, and he's a great actor. He's funny, friendly,… — Nargis Fakhri Copy Share Image
Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What… — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
Last time I saw him he tried to murder me. But when you're trying to kill someone by chopping their head off,… — Colin Mochrie Copy Share Image
“Wrangling the cat into the cage proved interesting, and Josie had several scratches before Clint bent down and let out a menacing… — Eve Langlais Copy Share Image
I don't quite recollect how many tumblers of whiskey toddy each man drank after supper; but this I know, that about one… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
“I should spank you; I didn’t enjoy you impulsively ditching me, but I did enjoy your driving.” “Wait, back up. You…” She… — Amelia Hutchins Copy Share Image
