The workers love Khrushchev very much. He hasn't got an enemy in the entire country. Quite a few under it. — Bob Hope Copy Share Image
Cop: Ma'am, could you please step out of the car? Me: I'm kinda drunk, why don't you just get in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I came from a real tough neighborhood. Why, every time I shut the window I hurt somebody's fingers. — Rodney Dangerfield Copy Share Image
It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse. — Adlai E. Stevenson Copy Share Image
EVERYONE SHUT THE HELL UP!!! * Answers phone* Hey mom.. (background) NO I WILLNOT PUT MY PANTS ON!!!! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Voyeurism, watching people go about their daily lives, is universally funny, no matter the culture, no matter the anything, it's just always… — James Murray Copy Share Image
It's a funny thing having a recording be part of your career. It means you can go back and revisit yourself, in… — Samuel Ervin Beam Copy Share Image
I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with age. The next day, she locked… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
[when asked by his secretary if she should destroy all files that were over ten years old] Yes, but keep copies. — Samuel Goldwyn Copy Share Image
“Late twenties, single, female. Do the math. Flirty flings were fabulous until you hit the big three-O, all downhill from there. Biological… — Nicola Marsh Copy Share Image
I hate stand-up comics; I think funny is something you are, not something you desperately try to be in front of a… — Peter Cameron Copy Share Image
*Types in password* Incorrect password *Types in password again* Incorrect password ARE U FRIGGIN KIDDING ME THAT IS MY¦.-Oh..Caps Lock. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Since Sienna was in an unusually cooperative mood, the session went well. He was returning from it midmorning - after a short… — Nalini Singh Copy Share Image
![“[when asked by his secretary if she should destroy all files that were over ten years old] Yes, but keep copies.” quote by Samuel Goldwyn](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/aec/samuel-goldwyn-3156_copies_when-asked-by-his-secretary-if-she-shoul_240016.jpg)
