Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I graduated a the top of my class in the '84 Olympic Games; I won a gold medal. — Scott Hamilton Copy Share Image
The mark of greatness is when everything before you is obsolete, and everything after you bears your mark. — Dave Chappelle Copy Share Image
But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Man cannot live without a continuous confidence in something indestructible within himself. — Franz Kafka Copy Share Image
If you can't sleep, count sheep. Don't count endangered animals. You will run out. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
You're damn right I do. I'm in Madison Square Garden getting the s*** knocked out of me — Willie Pastrano Copy Share Image
Faith is not in itself a meritorious act; the merit is in the One to Whom it is directed. — Aiden Wilson Tozer Copy Share Image
In black comedic culture, there's always been a thing about "Man, I ain't gotta wear a dress to be funny!" But I've… — Jamie Foxx Copy Share Image
Country people do not behave as if they think life is short; they live on the principle that it is long, and… — Edward Hoagland Copy Share Image
“Can you just kill me? Carry me out in a box?” I looked up at her. “Do you even have a gun?”“What… — Nichole Chase Copy Share Image
“What the hell is that?" I laughed. "It's my fox hat." "Your fox hat?" "Yeah, Pudge. My fox hat." "Why are you… — John Green Copy Share Image
I think the thing that really started setting my career on the course that it's on is when I did '1000 Cats'… — Brett Gelman Copy Share Image
One of life's greatest mysteries is how the boy who wasn't good enough to marry your daughter can be the father of… — Proverb Copy Share Image
During my service in the United States Congress, I took the initiative in creating the Internet. I took the initiative in moving… — Al Gore Copy Share Image
I'm going to be cremated from the neck down. And at my funeral, when people are talking about me, they have to… — Daniel Tosh Copy Share Image
