Laughing together heartily at the same thing forms an instant bond. — Liz Curtis Higgs Copy Share Image
They played a Chris Brown marathon on the radio station today. It was hit after hit. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“A drunken but exceedingly depressed German clown from Munich entertained the public.” — Fyodor Dostoyevsky Copy Share Image
“Jim said he believed it was spirits, but I says: no, spirits wouldn't say "dern the dern fog".” — Mark Twain Copy Share Image
I had a paper route when I was a kid. I was supposed to go to 2,000 houses. Or two dumpsters. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
When a woman says nothing's wrong that means everything is wrong and when a woman says everything's wrong that means everything is… — The Simpsons Copy Share Image
I absolutely admit I had him in the handcuffs so he wouldn't go anywhere while I checked the computer... I certainly wasn't… — Boy George Copy Share Image
I had several turtles before they were in. People seemed to think they were funny. Now everyone is wearing them practically every… — Peter Graves Copy Share Image
“By the fire, a spindly, insectile faerie stirs a big pot. 'You want soup, mortal?' I shake my head. 'You want to… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
“Getting money from my dad is a finesse job. Luckily, I have finesse coming out of my arse. I barged into his… — Sarra Manning Copy Share Image
It's really funny to me that I get called a workhorse or somebody who's really good at making other people better in… — Dolph Ziggler Copy Share Image
The mark of a good party is that you wake up the next morning wanting to change your name and start a… — Vance Bourjaily Copy Share Image
“I hear Mr. Palmer tell Hannah that it was an electrical fault. Five arsonists in one school and it ends up being… — Melina Marchetta Copy Share Image
