It's not what happens to us that defines us. It's what we choose to do with what happens to us that defines… — Elizabeth Smart Copy Share Image
My mom always said that there would be haters. Not everyone can love ya. — Joel Madden Copy Share Image
A critic is someone who meddles with something that is none of his business. — Paul Gauguin Copy Share Image
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's the only place to get a decent meal. — Groucho Marx Copy Share Image
Sometimes you need a cigarette. Like after you have sex with a beautiful woman or a confused young man. — Dave Attell Copy Share Image
I saw a human pyramid once. It was very unnecessary. It did not need to exist. — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
I Don't Get why Guys Say Girls With No Asses Should NOT Wear Shorts/Leggings When Guys Wear Muscle Shirts WITHOUT Muscles ..… — Karina Zavala Copy Share Image
“Randalin rushes toward the door, nearly running into Heather in his haste. He blinks at her in astonishment, clearly not prepared for… — Holly Black Copy Share Image
“Jokes are hilarious only when you take them unreal and dreamlike, otherwise it becomes painful. So I always live otherworldly...” — Saket Assertive Copy Share Image
I had more material on weather than anyone else, I guess, ... back when I was traveling a lot on the road… — Lewis Black Copy Share Image
Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
School year: Me: Yeaaa it's Saturday, Let's do something crazy!! Friend: Totally! Summer: Me: Dude, what day is it? Friend: I think… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
She had been critical of his new torch song, "A Side Order of Heartache, Please," suggesting it could be used as a… — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
