Old people have fewer diseases than the young, but their diseases never leave them. — Hippocrates Copy Share Image
You shall abstain, shall abstain. That is the eternal song. — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're all excited about openinga present, and when you open it,it sucks — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
I've been fortunate - I haven't had too many auditions. I slept with the right people. — Pamela Anderson Copy Share Image
I don't need a girlfriend my studies irritates me everyday, that's enough. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you want your children to listen, try talking softly - to someone else. — Ann Landers Copy Share Image
“You are funny like a kid and awesome like a princess Unseen like an angel, like the morning sunshine… Kindness like a… — M.F. Moonzajer Copy Share Image
It's funny, I used to ask guys who were in shape all the time, like Triple H, 'What do you do?' It… — Big Show Copy Share Image
... Waiter! raw beef-steak for the gentleman's eye,-nothing like raw beef-steak for a bruise, sir; cold lamp-post very good, but lamp-post inconvenient-damned… — Charles Dickens Copy Share Image
They always give you three ketchup packets. When you go back up and ask for more, the guy handing them out always… — Jim Gaffigan Copy Share Image
I think I can sing and am funny and have some abilities but I'm not somebody who takes big chances. I'm trying… — Bridget Everett Copy Share Image
Success is a funny thing. It means different things to different people. For me, I am always pleased when people connect to… — John Varvatos Copy Share Image
No one had to impose my enemies on me. I selected them myself. I didn't avoid them: I pointed them out, marked… — Jacobo Timerman Copy Share Image
“Now, there are things I like just fine about church, and I don’t just mean making money. The notion of getting together… — Nick Offerman Copy Share Image
