We shall be judged by what we do, not by how we felt while we were doing it. — Kenneth Tynan Copy Share Image
You got a problem with me? Well you can take that up with my older brother. I'm SURE he'll fix the problem ;) — Rayy Copy Share Image
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to? — Bette Midler Copy Share Image
There is nothing at all wrong with having money unless money has you. — Norman Vincent Peale Copy Share Image
I'm pretty sure my grandmom watches over me whenever I masturbate. The sound of that walker is so unbearable. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
Why be something to everybody when you can be everything to somebody? — Gilbert K. Chesterton Copy Share Image
I find the pressure to be funny when you're being interviewed live - quite intense. — Julian Barratt Copy Share Image
My daughter said she's gonna be a hoe for Halloween. I think it's cute that she likes gardening. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A man explained inflation to his wife thus: 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but… — Lord Barnett Copy Share Image
I don't believe in the kind of magic in my books. But I do believe something very magical can happen when you… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wife: Shall we try a different position tonight? Husband: Excellent idea Wife: U stand at sink, wash dishes, I will lie on… — Nishan Panwar Copy Share Image
I do not love "good" more than I love "bad." Hitler went to heaven. When you understand this, you will understand God. — Neale Donald Walsch Copy Share Image
In each age men of genius undertake the ascent. From below, the world follows them with their eyes. These men go up… — Victor Hugo Copy Share Image
“Instead of hearing the message he was trying to impress upon me and the impressionable queer ears hanging on his every word,… — Ethan Day Copy Share Image
There's not many comedy characters that make me laugh as much as The Rock does; it's nice to have a big muscly… — James Acaster Copy Share Image
“You put cow dung on my face?’ ‘Every day religiously until you were three. Why else do you think your skin is… — Renita D'Silva Copy Share Image
