Murder is always a mistake. One should never do anything that one cannot talk about after dinner. — Oscar Wilde Copy Share Image
When you see what the deficit is, then you have to do something about it. — Viola Davis Copy Share Image
I swear if I feel one more bug crawl on me I will set it on fire and then feed it's body… — Lisette Alfaro Copy Share Image
What do drunkards do? They... drink... themselves... to... death. — William Seabrook Copy Share Image
Remember when we was young, everybody used to have these arguments about who's better, Michael Jackson or Prince? Prince won! — Chris Rock Copy Share Image
Tbh my boyfriend is the best person ever like hes omg and i just hes perfection the way he meows, the way… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Not so great in England at the moment; in an online poll we came last, we actually came bottom of European countries… — Bill Bailey Copy Share Image
I prefer to avoid the phrase 'strong women' when talking about female characters and the lack thereof or the need therefore, because… — Zawe Ashton Copy Share Image
My parents have always had a great sense of humor. And I really appreciate good humor in songs, witty lyrics that sneak… — Kacey Musgraves Copy Share Image
An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The barman looks at them and says: "Is this some kind… — Frank Carson Copy Share Image
My dad is and was very funny and had a really dry sense of humor, which, as a kid, seemed un-fun. But… — John Mulaney Copy Share Image
It doesn't mean you can't discuss important things, but I would never do a joke about cancer, just because I don't think… — Jon Richardson Copy Share Image
