If something's awful, I find it funny. If something's funny, I find it funny. It's my natural, go-to place. — Roisin Conaty Copy Share Image
No, it's funny, when I eat out it's not typically in the kind of restaurants people might imagine. — Thomas Keller Copy Share Image
What has gotten into you lately? Save a little craziness for menopause! — Woody Allen Copy Share Image
Ah, yes, Divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a mans genitals through his wallet. — Robin Williams Copy Share Image
Want to look skinny without losing any weight? Hang out with fat people. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It is only when we are aware of the earth and of the earth as poetry that we truly live. — Henry Beston Copy Share Image
“I choked on the air I'd just sucked in and swung around in disbelief. "What did you just say?" "Me and the… — Rachel Brookes Copy Share Image
Being a funny person does an awful lot of things to you. You feel that you mustn't get serious with people. They… — Fanny Brice Copy Share Image
I was going to stay overnight at my friend's house - he said, "you'll have to sleep on the floor." Damn gravity!… — Mitch Hedberg Copy Share Image
To me, the funniest American of the Twentieth Century is Richard Nixon because he had the most to hide, and he was… — Harry Shearer Copy Share Image
I don't like the beach. I think we have no business at the beach at all, as a species. We don't belong… — Billy Connolly Copy Share Image
Yesterday, I came home early from work and found my Girlfriend cheating. The lazy bitch has hired a maid for cooking. — Nikhil Saluja Copy Share Image
A Boy Went To Girl N Said I Want To Click Ur's Photo . . Girl Ask What, Why ? Boy Replied… — Chirag Jain Copy Share Image
It is not every day that a pop superstar gets involved with terrorism as a victim, so the press takes advantage of… — Demis Roussos Copy Share Image
