Funny Quotes · Page 100

I always knew the woman I wanted to be.

— Diane von Furstenberg

Our Blacks Are Better Than Their's

— Ann Coulter

I wouldn’t change any of my reactions

— Brandon Marshall

Trying to change the name from Tweeting to Gregging.

— Anonymous

I didn't go to prom - I was homeschooled.

— Brie Larson

I don't want pictures, I want to find things out.

— Piet Mondrian

You're not fat, you're just.. easier to see

— Hussein Nishah

Do unto others what has been done to you,

— Maynard James Keenan

I think there's something funny about people who laugh in the face of convention or surprise us morally.

— Phoebe Waller-Bridge

If barbie isnt a slut then why do people have to buy her boyfriends?????

— Anonymous

Failure is not the opposite of success; it's part of success.

— Arianna Huffington

The truth about who we really are, beyond all appearances, is knowledge worth seeking.

— Dzogchen Ponlop Rinpoche

The optimist thinks that this is the best of all possible worlds, and the pessimist knows it.

— J Robert Oppenheimer

Some people expect me to be funny all the time, and I'm not necessarily funny all the time.

— Denis Leary

I don't think there's anything out there I can be afraid of.

— Albert Pujols

Before Shaq retired, they should have made him play a game dressed as Kazaam.

— Anonymous

What I like about the Bible is that it doesn't make sense, which makes it more like truth than anything else I've…

— Rich Mullins

It's funny, because readers think they want the characters to be blissfully happy, but it makes it kind of boring for the…

— L.A. Weatherly

I'm a pretty funny guy, and I would love to do a comedy with a bunch of funny guys - movie-star guys,…

— LeBron James

Consider the postage stamp, my son. It secures success through its ability to stick to one thing till it gets there.

— Josh Billings

The jewel in the baby product crown is the stroller. And if in America you are what you drive, then in Parentland,…

— Paul Reiser

To this day, I've found that it doesn't matter what a guy looks like if he's really funny. His sense of humor…

— Catherine O'Hara

The kindest compliments I have ever heard are when cops tell me Training Day and Assault on Precinct 13 inspired them to…

— Ethan Hawke

“It's okay to want something that's going to hurt, I remind myself. I move toward him, so we are close enough to…

— Holly Black

No man is greater than his respect for sleep.

— Ogden Nash

It seemed a good idea at the time.

— Rebecca West

Obama cool, but he ain't sending me no free checks

— Big K.R.I.T

There's time to slow down, after you're dead.

— Donatella Versace

I'm not going to be remotely funny.

— Kyra Sedgwick

Heartbreak is funny to everyone but the heartbroken.

— Jeffrey Eugenides

Everybody knows the dice are loaded.

— Leonard Cohen

I am going to put the Bible out of business.

— Robert Green Ingersoll

I hate when people flirt with theperson I like.

— Anonymous

Study the greats and become greater

— Michael Jackson

I'm getting angry at liberals.

— Stephen Colbert

We never touch but at points.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

I hope I shall have ambition until the day I die.

— Clare Boothe Luce

Write it down in your own handwriting.

— Eugene Ormandy

There's a great and unutterable beauty in all this.

— Jiddu Krishnamurti

I'm like a child who belongs to nobody.

— Lana Del Rey