Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everybody can see it but only you can feel the warmth.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm so glad your birthday will bring together all our friends at a time when my tan is fully realized. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Kids in the back seat cause accidents.. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Here's to Miley Cyrus for somehow making all Halloween costumes prior to 2013 look shockingly unslutty. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Moving on is like a bitter vegetable, it doesn't taste good, but it's good for you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Old people at weddings always poke me and say You're Next. So I started doing the same to them at funerals — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy: Will you be may RAIN? Girl: Why ?? Boy: Because I Will Be your Earth Girl: Whats is the connection between… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when the bathroom is silent except forthe sound of your pee and you hope the person washing their hands… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
WHERE THE HELL IS IT!! I SWEAR I'LL BURN THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND! Sir, calm down, your toy is under the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teen: Has sex, does drugs, bad grades Parent: Just don't do it again! ok? Teen: Doesn't do chores. Parent: YOU CHILD ARE… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Question: What was the hardest thing you had to give up? Answer: I know this is kinda pathtic but probably brady..this kid… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Walking into class on the first day of school, see who's in thereand thinking You've got to be fu*king kidding me -__- — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know you're a redneck when you go to a parade and they throw out corn on the cob and hand out… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you see a man in glasses only walking back into your apartment building from day to day, its probably superman. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pardon me, but you're obviously mistaking me for someone who gives a damn. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry I am posting call me maybe quotes, Kennedy got me started on looking them up:P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Your ass is like a wallet without cash, jeans without pockets... flat and useless. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Boy: HI Girl: Hello Boy: is your name flora? Girl: nah why? Boy: because you're butters LOOOOOOOOOOL — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How has retirement affected my golf game? A lot more people beat me now. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks for posting to Facebook precisely when you'll be out of town for Thanksgiving so I can rob your house. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God put me on earth to accompish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind, I will never… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The most expensive part of having kids is all the wine you have to drink. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Trust me, when I woke up today I had no plans to be awesome, but shit happens. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Seeing a really ugly person and whispering into your friend's earthats your boyfriend/ ígirlfriendx] — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thanks for being a wonderful mother and always supporting me in every decision you ever made for me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you realize you've been mispronouncing a word your entire life... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Saving a file as 'dyjjyggffj', because I'm too lazy to write a proper name. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The awkward moment when you did something stupid and your mom thinks that everybodyneeds to know. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nerd style of flirting: I wish I could select all your clothes and press delete — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
![“Seeing a really ugly person and whispering into your friend's earthats your boyfriend/ ígirlfriendx]” quote by Anonymous](https://sms4smile.com/quotes/i/90d/anonymous-1_amazing_seeing-a-really-ugly-person-and-whisperi_1248349.jpg)
