My teacher told us essays are like skirts…Long enough to cover the subject short enough to make it interesting. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The 3 fastest means of communication: telephone, television and tell a woman. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
How in the world are you ever going to meet the person you love if you dont love going out in the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on quitting smoking and not yet becoming morbidly obese. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Nothing better than a reality show where everyone's speaking English yet they still need subtitles to be understood. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If it tastes funny, don't eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That Awkward Moment When You Tell The Guy You Like That You Like Him, But He Tells You He Don't Like You,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That Moment When You're Having a Bad Day So You Lock yourself In Your Room And StartSinging And You Realize Your Singing… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you come home from school, look in the mirror and are like, 'Did I really look like that… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I firmly believe that if the whole material medica, as now used, could be sunk to the bottom of the sea, it… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Monday is just a reminder that the weekend has past and there are only a few more days before another weekend gets… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: School's almost over, Teacher: And this is crazy, Teacher: But here's 3 projects, Teacher: Due by Friday — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I knew my mother had it in for me from a young age. My bath toys were an electric toaster and hair-dryer. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People who use Tabs to make phone calls, might use an axe to cut vegetables. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ok summer I'm sorry for bad mouthing you bout being so hot, can you come back?? Its freakin cold! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Never ever apologize for saying what you feel. That's like saying sorry for being real. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher:Why are you chewing gum in my class?!?! Me:Dude, chill, it's gum, not cocaine. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This New Years, I'm going to party like Maury just told me I'm not the father! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Almost considered doing something with my life, but then I sat down and logged into Twitter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I just tried to kill a bug with hairspray, it didn't die, but its hair looked fabulous. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry you have such a weird name and no celebrity parents to blame it on — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's heroic service like yours that reminds me how meaningless my life is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
L hate when you're nice to the weird kid, and then they stalk your life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Hey I just met you and this is crazy, whats your make-up brand? Crayola maybe? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: Come on! You learned this in 3rd grade! Me: I can't remember what I ate for breakfast. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was going to give you a filthy look... Then I realised you already have one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sleeping with an ex is like masturbation. You know you're f*cking yourself but you do it anyway. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Admit it.. once in your life, you tried to drink out of your cup like a dog. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry that telling me about your great new iPhone drained its entire battery. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
