I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you cuss at a little kid acting all tough and they cuss you back even worse. BUURN. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sorry the gynecologist will see more of my vagina this year than you will. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Im convinced that God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have the best mommy in the whole wide world. As soon as I walk in the door she gives me this… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
“Nana's French knickers were surely a symbol of liberty and abandonment, worn only by women who didn't care for conventional frills or… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I wish watching the awkwardly graphic sex scenes on Game of Thrones wasn't the closest I'd come to having a sex life… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The hardest thing to find in life is happiness - money is only hard to find because it gets wasted trying to… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when your trying to watch something, and your entire family decide to have a competition of who can be the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
May your day be touched with sunshine your heart overflow with love & your soul sing with hope. May everything in your… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Reason why I'm single 1) I can't date myself 2) I can't date my celebrity crush 3) I can't date food 4)… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mirror: awh! you look good today! so pretty! Camera: ahaha! is that a girl or adog? paper bag that face pleaaaseee! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's promise we'll always stay close friends but ultimately settle for periodic glances at each other's Facebook status updates. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Roses are red, Violets are blue, god made me pretty what the hell happened to you? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You should never underestimate the power of your girlfriend. She has the ability to make anything your fault. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Diet, The word die is in your name. Sincerely, And you wonder why no one likes you... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope the next benefit concert will aid people traumatized from watching wrinkly British rock stars in HD. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives a women wild? No... it's a $100 bill. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Good luck studying information you'll never use in the job you won't have when you graduate. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I'm bored I send a text to a random number saying 'I hid the body.' or 'I'm pregnant.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: I'm calling your parents! Age 10: Omg no! Please! Age 13: Whatever.. Age 15+: Tell them I said Heyyy! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It takes 64 muscles of the face to make a frown, and only 13 to make a smile. Why work overtime? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Twilight showed me it's okay to date underage girls if you're a 107-year-old vampire. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can see you copying my test... Sincerely, jokes on you, I didn't study either — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sometimes, even if its not funny, I respond 'haha' just to make them feel good. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when people ask too many questions, like can you notsee I'm ANNOYED AS fuck. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
To the girl that says all dudes are the same, No one told you to try them all. Slut! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That Awkward Moment When You Shout The Wrong Answer In Class With Confidence :P ! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some people are just like some schools during summer, they have, NO CLASS. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
They say shitting is a call of nature does that mean farting is a missed call? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
