You there, Friday! Welcome back you sexy son of a bitch! We've been looking for you since Monday! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My paralyzing fear of giving best man speeches prevents me from being anyone's closest friend. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Comment What Celeb You Guys Want An Edit For Now!. Or Should I Keep Doing The Demi Edit? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Life is not about how fast you run, or how high you climb, but how well you bounce. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I. Like. It. How. When. You. Read. This. The. Little. Voice. In.Your. Head. Pauses. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you get the result of your exam and find out you failed your so Upset…But when you find out that your… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That horrifying moment when your mom says... I need to talk to you. And u think of everything you did wrong this… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment during a test and you don't know any of the answers, so you just start laughing because you know… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When we are bored we get on Facebook, then we get bored on Facebook so we get off then 15 min later… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but usually manages to pick himself up, walk over or around it, and carry on. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A lady came up to me on the street and pointed at my suede jacket. 'You know a cow was murdered for… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I am cleaning up my facebook friends page. If you are deleted don't take it personally. It is strictly based on the… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was on a boat the other day when my computer fell into the ocean and it was a Dell so now… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was a kid, I used to sing, 'A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, ELEMENO, P' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Day before the test* Whatever,I don't need to study, I got this.*Day of the test* Why do I do this to myself? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A Hanukkah miracle would be feeling confident that you spelled Hanukkah correctly. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on finding another web-based outlet for your consuming narcissism. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Raising you hand for the easy questions, so the teacher won't bother you for the hard ones later. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I use Google to check if I have internet connection more than I use Google to Google. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why do you have to be that way, you seemed normal until I got to know you? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You're too young for me. I mean, too old. We're the same age? Well, that doesn't work for me, either. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $1.50 and deer nuts are under a buck. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happiness is like peeing in your pants. Everyone can see it, but only you can feel its warmth. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awesome moment when Reading your best friend's statusand thinking, Ha! I know exactly who that's about! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In elementary school, when you were line leader, everyone else behind you was your b*tch. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate that awkward outcast feeling when your friend meets up with a group of people you never me — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Newtons third law of love: For every Idiot, there is an equal and opposite Gender Idiot! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I've slept with enough married men to know that matrimony is not for me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I have children, I'm gonna make them watch the movie 2012 and tell them I survived that like a BOSS. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher: Do you understand? Me: Yeah, I do. Teacher: *walks away* Me: What did she just say? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
