I'm not saying I hate u..i'm saying that if u ever get hit by a bus, I would be driving that bus… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I will be solemnly honoring our military this weekend because no one invited me anywhere fun. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don't worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sitting in the cinema, ready to watch the movie, then BOOM! The human giraffe sits in front of you. - — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you really want to talk to someone, but don't know how to continue the conversation. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teacher:The test is very easy. Me:Sure it is bitch, you already know the answers. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you feel that nobody loves you, that nobody cares, when all you can do is cry and walk away because everyone… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People say everything happens for a reason... well when I punch you in the face remember that happened for a reason! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're taking off your jeans in the changing room, and your underwear decides to come off too. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dear Tequila, you were supposed to make me funnier, more self confident, and a better dancer. I saw the video from last… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I LOVE EVERYONE...SOME I LOVE TO BE AROUND, SOME I LOVE TO AVOID...AND SOME I WOULD LOVE TO PUNCH ON THEIR FACE...!!… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny how we can remember the lyrics to hundreds of songs, but can't remember anything when we study for a test. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't decide this Halloween whether to go as a slutty witch, a slutty nurse, a slutty schoolgirl, or just a total… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I love the ones who are in my life and make it amazing. I also love the ones who left my life… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Adulthood is just piles of bills and trying to convince your exes how amazing youre life is. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Dude I have something really funny to tell you!� *Adult walks into room* ..I'll tell you in a minute� — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Sending a risky text & thinkingoh god, they hate me, if they don't respond within 30 seconds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why is everyone congratulating me on my sister-in-law being pregnant? I had nothing to do with it! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Instead of calling in sick today, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know it's gonna be a great story when it starts off with, 'So this b*tch...' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That moment when you miss one step on the stairs, and you think you're about to die… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Not to get all technical; but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I admire your use of the Food Network as a distraction from your eating disorder. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You must be a special kind of stupid to think acting like a jerk is attractive to girls. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you appreciate her, love her, and respect her, I can guarentee you won't lose her. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Downton Abbey has taught me there was a time when British healthcare was just as horrifying as ours. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't think most of my coworkers would be that much different if they became actual zombies. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I saw a spider in my bathtub, so I got a piece of tissue and very carefully…burned the house down. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I do like the way twitter marks all sex offenders with little blue ticks. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend is like a good bra: close to your heart, hard to find, and supportive. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hope your kids cope with the divorce well enough to serve as a prop to help get you laid. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Greetings, I have recently become acquainted with you, So here are my digits, So call me perhaps? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Does anyone else get bothered by that last inch the shower curtain wont cover? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are like...Bike Helmets. Handy in an emergency, but otherwise they just look silly. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
