God gives us only what we can handle.. Apparently God thinks I am a bad-ass. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a cop pulls me over and he says papers and I say scissors does that mean I have won — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Tip 1: Before you kiss her on her door-step, make sure her dad isn't watching so he cant kill you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Friend: Can I have a piece of gum? Me: Yeah, just don't say you got it from me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when the bathroom is silent except forthe sound of your pee and you hope the person washing their hands… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Teen: Has sex, does drugs, bad grades Parent: Just don't do it again! ok? Teen: Doesn't do chores. Parent: YOU CHILD ARE… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Question: What was the hardest thing you had to give up? Answer: I know this is kinda pathtic but probably brady..this kid… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Walking into class on the first day of school, see who's in thereand thinking You've got to be fu*king kidding me -__- — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You know you're a redneck when you go to a parade and they throw out corn on the cob and hand out… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If you see a man in glasses only walking back into your apartment building from day to day, its probably superman. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I pray for wisdom to understand a man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This Columbus Day, let's apologize for our historical mistreatment of American Indians by losing money at a tribal casino. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I can't stand my long distance relationship anymore … I'm moving the fridge to my room. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Facebook: ________ & 57 others like this. Me: Y U NO JUST SAY 58 PEOPLE LIKE IT?! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I smile because you are my sister, I laugh because there is nothing you can do about it! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Were always together, were one of a kind, 3 words describe us - 'partners in crime' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Cell phones ruined the fun of pushing a fully clothed person into the pool. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Word of Advice: If a cop pulls you over and says, 'You drinking?' Never respond with, 'You buying?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, said Jojen. The man who never reads lives only one. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself...and spiders. Fuck spiders. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This Friendship Day, I promise to focus mostly on your good qualities when talking behind your back. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm waiting to get married until my age group's first batch of divorces. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
God understands that part of us which is more than what we think we are. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My life is like a romantic comedy except there's no romance and it's just me laughing at my own jokes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I may have to support the legalization of marijuana just so my Criminal Procedure reading can be 70% shorter. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
