Every year I go to halloween parties as a ninja so don't expect to see me there. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I hate when I'm about to hug someone really sexy and then my face hits the mirror. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men can do their Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on Christmas Eve in 25 minutes. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying she's a slut, but if her vagina was a video game it would be rated E for Everyone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
'Shut the fudge up. You little asstronaut. What the helicopters are you doing? You son of a batch of cookies!' That's how… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The author looms above his page and thinks it strange that at his age he cannot find the proper words to describe… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
She didn't say it, I only thought she said it. So really it was my thought, my words, and not hers. How… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Why am I researching if 1 antique gun should be excluded when my 'client' was caught with 3 other unregistered, newer guns? — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Girls, Don't worry if you're good looking or not, don't complain ifyou're fat or skinny, don't just focus on your physical appearance,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It's funny how social activists usually protest against the only things that have a credible chance of achieving the activists' goals. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A friend will calm you down when your angry. A best friend will skip beside you singing 'someone's going to get it.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pops added,you know, they say if you don't vote, you get the government you deserve. And if you do, you never get… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When I was kid, 'You're not invited to my party.' was the worst insult ever. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't get why gyms have mirrors...I know what I look like. That's why I'm there. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Before you marry someone, ask yourself, 'Will they be a good killing partner during the zombie apocalypse?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
OMG! I just discovered I have a super power! I can be invisible… Oh no no wait, I'm just being ignored. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You break it, you buy it. Hell no. I break it, slowly leave it there & awkwardly walk away.. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Listening to a conversation & screaming all the funny things you'd say in your head... — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I was such an ugly kid. When I played in the sandbox the cat kept trying to cover me up — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You'll like Inception if you like movies about characters trying to explain what Inception is about. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The walk of shame when you have to put something back in a store after your mom says no. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Just once, I would like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear...'Monday has been canceled, go back to sleep.' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You can't please everyone, but you can piss them all off at the same time! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Log off Facebook, close laptop, get into bed, grab phone, check Facebook. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
People say you can't live without love…i think oxygen is more important :P — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Most people are dead. Hitler. Ray Charles. Some other guys. But mostly those two. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If she doesn't know when usher was in his drop top cruisin the streets, she's too young for you bro — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
