Aging: Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That awkward moment when you're late to class and everyonestares at you like you've just killed someone. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Money can't buy happiness, but it's a lot more comfortable to cry in a Mercedes than on a bicycle. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My favorite coffee in the morning is the one where my coworkers don't talk to me while I drink it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My historical knowledge of the French Revolution is based on 17 viewings of History of the World, Part I. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
All those tears I cried over you were enough to make a pool, I hope you damn drown in that pool — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I have had a really bad day today and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So,… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Me: *Playing video games* Someone says: Hey! *10 minutes later* Me: I DIED AND ITS BECAUSE YOU WERE TALKING TO ME.! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: lets see the evolutionists try and figure this one out. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
School is pointless. English: We speak it. History: They're dead. Math: We have calculators. Spanish: We have Dora. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
A phone is a form of communication, a kiss is a form of affection. A picture is a form of remembrance, CHOOSING… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Stupid rock gods! Leo yelled from the helm. Thats the third time Ive had to replace that mast! You think they grow… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The best advise I have for all my teachers during a test is to pass the test out as fast as possible… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Three monkeys escaped from the zoo, one was caught watching TV, the other playing hockey, and the third one was caught reading… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Men are like parking spaces, all the good ones are taken and the rest are handicapped. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you screwed up my life. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
When you have a hammer in your hand everything around you starts looking like a nail. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ln PE class, there's always that one person who thinks it's the damn olympics. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
For a man to truly understand rejection, he must first be ignored by a cat. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Thinking you stepped into Antarctica when actually, you've only stepped outta the shower. :c — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Even though your funny,crazy,guffy,weird and talkative… am that way too I love my freaky friends — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Whenever you feel worthless, Remember; You were once the quickest sperm cell.. :D — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And the Lord said unto John 'Come forth and receive eternal life' But John came fifth, and won a toaster. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Ever look at your ex and thought 'Was I drunk during our whole relationship?' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Compromise: An amiable arrangement between husband and wife whereby they agree to let her have her own way. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Brushing your teeth six times before you go to the dentist so they think you have really good teeth. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Diplomacy is the art of saying "Nice doggie!"... till you can find a rock. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I told my DAD to embrace his mistakes. He cried. Then he hugged my brother & me. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I'm not saying you're easy, but when I look up something to do in your town it gives me your address. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Tell Me Why We've Got More Pictures Of T.K. On Here Then Most Other Things. - — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can't do it themselves! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
