Funny Quotes by Anonymous · Page 110

The best part of your life is when your family becomes your friends and your friends become your family.

— Anonymous

I'm glad we'll have a night to rehearse getting blind drunk for the actual wedding reception

— Anonymous

Screaming "Your not my real LADDER!" at your Step ladder.

— Anonymous

The best birthdays of all are those that havent arrived yet.

— Anonymous

Lf you think this page is awesome haha then you should try Keep Laughing

— Anonymous

Sorry girl, I know you enjoy being single, but I am going to take that away from you.

— Anonymous

I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.

— Anonymous

I know every day is a gift, but where's the receipt for Mondays? I want to exchange it for another Friday.

— Anonymous

Studies clearly indicate that those who get 'Get Well' cards sooner and more often have a 80% faster recovery rate, so I…

— Anonymous

I feel slighted for not being invited to your wedding that I would have totally ruined with drunken antics or not gone…

— Anonymous

Michael Jackson died at 58,Whitney Houston at 48,John F. Kennedy at 38,Amy Winehouse at 28. How old is Justin Bieber again? 18 Right?

— Anonymous

Dear spiders, if I see you outside, I will let you live. But if I see you in my house, I will…

— Anonymous

Did You Know About My relationship with my sibling(s)? We're pretty close. Although, my older sister and I argue a lot:P

— Anonymous

I want to wake up with you in the morning hours. I want to get hot and sweaty together. I want us…

— Anonymous

You Could Walk a Mile In My Shoes But You Still Wouldn't GetMe Even If I Can With Instructions, So Tell Me,…

— Anonymous

Dear Boys, Until you start having periods, babies, and watching the one you love be with someone else, you're not as strong…

— Anonymous

Letting your phone ring a few times before answering so you seem busy. *Hahaha this is so me..*

— Anonymous

I named my penis Cybertron. Because when he transforms, you are fucked.

— Anonymous

Volleyball is just a more intense version of 'Don't let the balloon touch the floor.'

— Anonymous

When I was little, I use to think the moon followed my car c;

— Anonymous

Scrolling down your inbox and remembering each memory in every text message.

— Anonymous

The only difference between me and a madman is that Im not mad.

— Anonymous

You tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is 'never try'.

— Anonymous

I wish I remotely made enough money from my labor to afford a Labor Day vacation.

— Anonymous

Treat me like a joke and I'll leave you like it's funny.

— Anonymous

I wish the cast of Twilight had to fight in the Hunger Games.

— Anonymous

Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, shes not coming back.

— Anonymous

Make sure to stay in shape this winter since you may not be able to sign up for Obamacare until spring.

— Anonymous

That awesome moment when the whole class laughed at what you said, so you just sit there like a boss.

— Anonymous

I am locking myself in my room, really it is for your own safety...

— Anonymous

“There is much to discover that's not on the back cover!”

— Anonymous

Sister to sister we will always be, a couple of nuts off the family tree.

— Anonymous

Writing is 1% inspiration, 99% not getting distracted by the internet.

— Anonymous

Every teacher before they draw on the board: I'm not an artist

— Anonymous

Another day at work...I'm having as much fun as a colorblind person playing twister.

— Anonymous

Men who dont understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands.

— Anonymous

If you're purchasing a Dollar Store pregnancy test, I think we both know you can't afford a positive.

— Anonymous

Technically, you're not drinking alone if your kids are home.

— Anonymous

10 minutes... No text back? Looks like Im going to sleep now. OH NOW YOU DECIDE TOREPLY!?

— Anonymous

The awkward moment when you see a 10 yr with a cooler phone than you,

— Anonymous