Me: For the first time in life, things seem to be getting better. :) Life: LOL, give me a second! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Happiness is being retired and spending all of my kids' inheritance before I die! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Congratulations on losing the weight we were all pretending you didn't need to lose. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
That one song on your iPod that plays real loud and scares the shit out of you. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Admit it ... you've always wanted to see what it would be like to meet yourself. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after a first date, chances are...you have small boobs. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Theres hell in hello, good in goodbye, lie in believe, over in lover, end in friend, ex in next, and if in… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
In grammar class the teacher asks her student 'When you sing you say 'I sing' what do you say when your brother… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Before you speak listen, before you write think, Before you quit try, Before you take a SHIT, look at the toilet paper. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The leadership instinct you are born with is the backbone. You develop the funny bone and the wishbone that go with it. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
The world's a better place, because of folk like you. Who take the time to do nice things, the way you always… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
You make me laugh at things that aren't funny. You make me smile without actually being here. You make my stomach flip… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
This Independence Day you're invited to my house where a large gathering of people will proudly display their dependence on drugs and… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Welcome to facebook, where you can stalk your exes, freak out your frends, and go from normal to bi polor in 30 secounds! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Best friends don't judge each other, they get together and judge everybody else. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I was supposed to do. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Apparently beer contains female hormones. After you drink enough you can neither drive nor shut the hell up! — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil :) — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Pretending to never get the text, from An annoying person who won't leave you alone -.- — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Mentally I am ready for Christmas. Financially I am not ready for Christmas. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Some people bring happiness wherever they go; you bring happiness whenever you go. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I don't smoke, don't drink, don't do drugs, I only have one small problem, I lie. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
I know you've been looking at porn if you're staring at the Google homepage when I walk in. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
One of the weaknesses of our age is our apparent inability to distinguish our needs from our greeds. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Wanna know why they call me Gandy Candy? Cuz' Its Trick-er-treat all year round' — Anonymous Copy Share Image
Let's spend Thanksgiving spilling food on our clothes, and Black Friday buying new ones. — Anonymous Copy Share Image
It may be best to set aside the rest of May to apologize for what you're going to do this Cinco de… — Anonymous Copy Share Image
And a tear rolled down her cheek, as she said goodbye; because she's walking away, and she's never looking back — Anonymous Copy Share
You'll seldom experience regret for anything that you've done. It is what you haven't done that will torment you. The message, therefore, is clear.… — Anonymous Copy Share
Scrabble - The game is available in Braille. That’s a nice fact. This makes me feel better about humanity for some reason. I can’t… — Anonymous Copy Share
“THIS tale of my sore-troubled life I write, To thank the God of nature, who conveyed My soul to me, and with such care… — Anonymous Copy Share
Put on my J's and dance the whole night away Im naughty by nature like Im hip-hop hooray With my hands in the sky,… — Anonymous Copy Share
Me.. I have been through a lot, but I still manage to have a smile on my face. Im not worried about the past… — Anonymous Copy Share
Distance is a test of love. many will fail for those who can't withstand it, but for those who can, theres only one answer… — Anonymous Copy Share
The only person I've ever purposely caused pain here is myself...By simply sharing, caring too much. — Anonymous Copy Share
The truth is, of course, that the curtness of the Ten Commandments is an evidence, not of the gloom and narrowness of a religion,… — Anonymous Copy Share
